be proactive

all about action. I am setting my goals with specific steps and dates to have the phases accommplished.

I have always been a person that works well with deadlines. Working with deadlines in my professional life is natural. Contract dates have to be met. People need to move into their new homes on a certain day.

I haven’t used the concept of dating my goals in my personal life and they never seem to get done. There is no sense of urgency.

I’m sure this will be an excellent way to keep me moving forward!

When I was recovering from my brain surgery I started a contract mortgage loan processing company. It was to ease my recovery and turned out to be a detriment at that time because I wasn’t well enough to handle all of the resposibility of starting a business.

Fast forward to now in the wilderness. I am healthier. The business has changed and continues to change with more and more regulations for people to keep up with….all for the protection of the consumers.

So it is time to revisit an old idea and see what I can make out of the devastation that the melt down caused those of us who have always been honest and hard working in the industry.

I went to a real estate meeting this morning to learn new changes in the industry. People were talking about the properties that they have for sale. It seems the prices are reasonable but there are no buyers because there are no jobs.

Then 2 of them said their personal homes are for sale and they will rent when they sell them.

Very different from the real estate people I know in Texas I must admit. There they are looking for the smoking deals to expand their portfolios.

here in the wilderness has been criticized by many but the reality is helping people get homes has been my purpose in life for as long as I can remember. Without that as an option I have been miserable and lost not to mention to depressed for words.

So today I put aside others’ opinions and listened to my own heart. It felt good to go to the office, preview homes and set up times for holiday open houses for sellers.

I have an 8:30 meeting to go over the big RESPA/ Good Faith Estimate guidelines that become effective January 1st for buyers and a builder’s holiday open house tomorrow afternoon.

It is good to be back in the game. :)

we get the same results no matter what we think may happen.

So for 2010 I am stepping out of my cozy dysfunctional box and trying new things.

This should be an adventure!

my spirits raise and my outlook for the future improves dramatically. It reflects who I truly am not the person that people see here in the “real” world.

My entire adult life I have tried to be who others wanted me to be and quite frankly I have failed miserably. I have ended up financially challenged, alone in the tundra waiting to grow old and die. The worst case scenario of my life has come to be my reality.

So for my upcoming birthday I am combining my virtual and real lives to see how they mesh. 2010 should be a very interesting year.

and years of frustration there comes a time to make changes instead of contemplating them. I truly enjoy some aspects of my new life here but overall truth is I am a city girl.

So if I do stay here in the wilderness I will be spending more time traveling in the future but chances are I will be moving to a more energetic, exciting environment in 2010.

give it to a busy person. That has been my biggest problem here in the wilderness. I have been so busy whining that I forgot idle hands are the devil’s playground adage I learned as a child.

The past few months have been spent wallowing in self pity and depression instead of making myself a vital part of my community.

This morning I read an article in the local paper about a young woman (age 16) who is active in school and the community making a positive difference in people’s lives. The Lifetime station has PSA’s about women making a difference all around the world.

Then I read my life list on 43 Things and decided I have plenty of great projects to do with my time that could not only make me happy but be a wonderful addition to the community where I live.

So no more whining or questioning where I belong? I belong where I am in the present moment actually working on my life list.

for a lunch date while I was in Missoula. She lives out of town and comes in on Fridays to run errands. She is like my mother that way…live their lives with very structured schedules….wonder what life like that must be like? But I digress. We don’t really talk often and I want to build a stronger relationship with her.

We had a wonderful visit catching up on all her family news. There was lots of it…she has a very large family with 5 of her own and now all of their children. The time flew by and then we were off into our very different lives.

I will see her again around Christmas…big family gathering at my mom’s house. I am looking forward to seeing everyone but inside I am aching to go home for the holidays and see my own little bundles of joy. We’ll see what happens!

What a sad description of how I was feeling just a few days ago. I took a long hard look at where I am and how I am living. It is 360 degrees opposite of what makes me happy and fulfilled.

It became apparent that my focus had been on giving up on myself. I cut myself off from people who love me, the work I enjoy, past-times that relax me and surrounded myself with the negativity I was feeling inside. My normal cheerful, sunny, optimistic self became dark, sullen and lonely.

Then I met a friend,a divine connection, who stretched out her hand in friendship to walk with me back into the positive side of life. She and her husband are gentle souls who quietly encourage others (me) to enhance their strengths and live life fully engaged.

Having validation in the real world again is a life saver after 2 1/2 years of isolation in the wilderness!