Love without fear

with enabling. Especially those I care about. Not wanting them to hurt, taking care of things instead of letting them do it for themselves. That’s not love, for me or them. This goal is more attainable now that I have a better understanding of my place in relationships(including the one I have with myself.) The illusion has been broken. I am marking this as done.

This goal is so beyond romance. In order to actualize this in my life I have to let go. Let go of any of my past notions of what love should be for others or myself and just be. Be in the now and love what is there. Love it (whatever or whoever it is) unconditionally. So that I am recharged. If it is draining it is not love. I often hear the statement “love is all their is”. That being said I must send my energies in that direction if that is what I want to manifest in my life. For what I think upon grows.

Why is it so hard to love myself with a little more consistency. As I type this I realize I am still giving away too much of myself to the wrong people. I wish there was a template I could follow. Wouldn’t that be nice, too much sorry, you have overstepped the limit. I have to shed the matrydom thing( I don’t wear it well). Sometimes it feels like I am in such a deficit I don’t know where to put my focus. Let go and love me.

The first step is for me to love myself without fear. Dang! Self loathing is really just an excuse I use to keep me from reaching my full potential. Or more specifically, fears way of manifesting in my life. I must remind myself that The opinion of others is really not my business, therefore I have nothing to be afraid of. As women we are raised to be overly concerned with social acceptance. I remember my mother constantly telling me what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Whether or not I was pretty or just plain old “not being nice”. I have come to dispise the word nice. In my life it was usually used when someone wanted you to sacrifice your truth because the other party wasn’t ready to give up their control drama. I on the other hand prefer respect. I will respect others and leave nice to the days of feet binding and chastity belts. As boys become men no one tells them to be nice. They are told to be fair, true, and strong. We tell our girls to be nice. That breeds fear and codependents. Lets be true, and righteous and loving. That way we can keep our selfworth in tact. Leaving us to love the person that we are instead of the nice person that we hope we are perceived to be.

This luminates in my life immeasureably. If I can conquer this fear I am sure I will add years to my life. Definitely a concept for me to ponder. What does my fear of the limitations of others say about me, and why am I allowing it to have so much control over my life? Growing pains! Yikes! I have to meditate on this and let the answers come. It’s a big one that I can feel in my gut. The old me would have ran from this after the uneasy feelings began. The present me is running toward it so that I can experience the joy of being on the other side.
See You Then!
I liken this feeling to the pain of struggling to get out of a cocoon. It’s time to better my life.
Peace

I realize that in order to truly pursue this goal I have to redefine what brings me pleasure and what brings me pain. Through past experiences I have misinterpreted the process of sharing love as painful. This is due to my expections of what I should receive as a result of my giving. Love should never be used as currency. Love is not an enabler. In order to love without fear I have to continue to redefine love in my life and not look at the old stereotype that has been presented to me in the past.
Someone else’s ability to give or receive love does not define my worth or theirs for that matter. It does however allow me decide whether or not I should take this person into my inner circle. That would be true self appreciation. I cannot love someone into doing my will. That always produces pain.

Love without fear. This is what life is really about. I love that the love I present in the world is only a reflection of the love that I give to myself. To love without fear is to love without control issues. Without worrying about whether or not I will be loved in return. To love without fear is to connect to an all powerful love and know that because of this connection my needs will be met. To love without fear is to love beyond existence and free myself from the world definition of what I have been taught that love is. To truly love without fear is to free my soul and allow myself to truly be. To love without fear is to free myself from excuses and just know. To love without fear is to find that inner stillness and know that God is Love no matter what we call it. To love without fear is to LOVE,love. That way you don’t care who you give it to because it’s so abundant that you know there is more. To love without fear is to love beyond the illusions of lack and limitation. To love without fear just is. To love without fear is to change the world. This is my purpose.