Safe no more — 2 years ago
I spent my life doing the “safe” thing. Every major life choice was based not on what I wanted, but on what was expected, what was accepted, what was safe. My choices were always prudent, and always designed to please someone else. My prudence was rewarded with an unhappy marriage, an unsatisfying career, and a sense, at the age of 44, of having accomplished nothing worthwhile.
I finally came to the conclusion that life is by its very nature a risky venture, one enormous gamble followed by yet another. To deny this and try to avoid risk is to substitute life with mere existence. I also decided that my life is my own, and the choices I make must be mine, as well.
So I took the biggest risk of my life, and walked away from a 21 year marriage that was simply going nowhere, and had little hope of changing. I’m terrified of what the future holds. I’ve sacrificed any semblance of security that I ever had. But whatever the future holds for me is mine, and good or bad, I’ll have earned it myself. And as frightening as it is, I see more possibility for my future than ever before.
