stop doing drugs

i really dont think any addict is “recovered” more like recovering because if anyone is like me i think i will always struggle with the urge to use. yes, sometimes it does actually get easier other times harder but i know if i try and have the help of the those around me… then i can do this ( =
and so can you!!! by the way i really am willing to help in anyway…

i started a antidepressant wellbutrin a month ago i had a bad reaction and basically tripped balls for three days. things crawling on the walls and on me , seeing really messed up things , hearing things, having a convo with someone who wasnt even there… ever since then i havent been the same..im to afraid to sleep to even leave my room to use the bathroom or to even go outside for a cigarette im so afraid i’ll go schizo and all that stuff will happen again involuntarily.. friends tell me that wont happen. but will it? i dont think i’ll ever do drugs again ( okay so probably i will) but after a bad trip it just seems like life is falling apart i think im driving myself insane! ) =

so since my last overdose i have been sober… 3 months going on four…its hard when things dont go well.. sometimes its even hard when things do go well.. i used drugs to self-medicate or atleast thats what they told me in rehab.. but um now that i am sober i can get happy..its just a matter of time..
i am so afraid of relapse it could ruin my life more than it already is..hard to believe..but i pray i will never touch another drug in my life (=