stop watching porn

Why can’t I stop! I love porn. I can’t leave it alone. I need help. I don’t know how to beat it.

Well Im back to square one. I used a youtube posting to jerk off to. For two days I had been collecting them convinced that it was because they were funny, interesting or kept the volume off so I could use the excuse that I needed to save them to watch later with volume. I really didn’t think when I started in on them tonight that I would end up playing with myself but that’s where it ended up. I went four months and gave in to temptation. I think I might need a sponsor or maybe a filter on my computer. I really feel awful about this I wish I could be stronger.

I cheated! Its so easy to find subtle ways to look at sexual images. I used youtube again to feed my addiction. I was able to become arroused by looking at postings. It really was a fix. I think I might need to get rid of the internet so I can really stop looking at porn. HELP!!

I’m going through the stages of justification. Oh I’ll just open the main page of the site I won’t actually download anything, right! I’ve got to turn off the computer and go to bed and not think about looking at PORN!

Why can’t I keep my mind occupied with other things. I want to look really bad. I want to surf and feed my need! Maybe I should get rid of the internet.

Today I got some good news. When you do good, good comes to you. There is a reason I’m not watching porn, its the right thing to do! God is good!

Freakin porn! I want to look so bad. Today has been three months, Its been a struggle I think I can’t make it. I need to replace the urge with something. Maybe go for a walk…

So I cheated by going to youtube and looking at postings. There wasn’t any actual “sex” but it was naked bodies none the less. I wanted to see hot bodies so bad and thought if it was a post of someone being funny it would be okay. But like i said really my true intentions were to be aroused so I cheated. God help me!!!

I really want to look at porn right now. I keep telling myself that its not huring anyone to just look. I don’t have to do anything more than look but if I compromise just a little than who am I or what am I trying to do? I hate myself for this addiction I wish I could think of something more positive. Im going downstairs to watch television and try to forget that I am hungry to see two people “getting down.” Its not normal, right?

Ive seen so much porn, really good and hot porn, that I can’t get the images out of my mind. I really want to look at porn and wack off. I’m walking away from the computer and watch something on television..