My mother’s last words before leaving home for the Navy were “Stay away from Gay people.” Both my parents had been marines, so there were few illusions about what the military would be like. (Granted, my mother had been in during the 70s, so things were a little different then.) She never said whether she feared I might be hurt by those who want to bash queers, or whether she figured that queers were just a bad influence.
At any rate, I didn’t have to heed her advice, as there were no queers to be found. As I am transgendered, however, I suppose my parents can be thankful that at least I like men? In some weird twist of fate, anyway. (FtMs can get pregnant now, so they can nurse that hope, although it will never happen with me.)
I haven’t talked to them in about five years now, and have wrestled with the idea of coming out to them for a long time. The main reason I haven’t is that my biological mother is dying. I don’t want to cause any jabs, and I’m not doing this just to say, “HAH. This thing that you don’t like and maybe feared is true!” I would rather heal things, or at least tell them, “I’m alive, I’m okay, and unless you really want to make up, we’re done.” Closure for all of us is what I’m hoping for. Not that I think it will happen.
