stop gossiping

and she’s decided that I’m some kind of ally, so I’m trying to make sure that she’s aware of my boundaries – she wants to gossip gossip gossip, and so far I have not given in. jeez, it’s just a perfect example of how screwed up gossipping can be, the kind of drama it can spread. barf.

I am one of the gossipiest people I know, I can’t seem to STOP. This is getting to be a problem, at least in my own head. I need to find something more interesting to talk about than how crappy people look, how annoying they are, the stupid things they do. I’m afraid I’m turning into a toxic person. Barf.

so, i’m having a difficult time deciding what is gossip, what’s normal conversation, what is hurtful, what is not – my new subgoal is going to be to not say anything derogatory about how anyone looks or dresses or wears their hair – surface characteristics that really aren’t my business anyway. and i know that’s hurtful, oh my god. i’m starting there, we’ll see how it goes. i did make fun of someone’s plastic surgery to my husband tonight. bad!

So, I’m trying to quit, right? And I was telling my friend that I wanted to quit, and she was like, totally, totally, and I was all, yeah, yeah, let’s quit!
But then she says to me tonight, you know, the thing about gossipping is it’s SO FUN. And I agree. And we ended up gossipping a little bit, and rationalizing it.
My problem: I don’t know what is appropriate, I find myself erring too much on the side of caution or justifying mean-spirited comments. I don’t know, argh argh argh.

it’s like, I know that it’s gossip. i did it again last night, talking to my husband. when I have to say “but don’t tell her I told you that”, it’s a bad sign. I need to STOP, even if it does make for interesting conversation. Maybe I need to brainstorm some conversational topics that don’t include the inner workings of my friends’ lives.

Oooooh, I had the urge to start talking trash about this one woman last night, she so deserves it, she’s incorrigeable. So I told my friend Molly that I felt like gossipping, that I had something really aggravating to unload about, and she says:
“You have something really good? You want to tell me? Then don’t.”
Molly’s right, a little bit at a time, some self-control is really crucial here.
Most important to me is not talking about the people that I love and not being hurtful. I also would love to stop wasting my time on the gossip websites, who cares what those people do? I’m going to delete them right now from my bookmarks.