be me

We started with 7 muscovy ducks – 5 females and 2 drakes. They started laying eggs in spring, and from November on we’ve had quite a lot of ducklings hatch out. We also have geese, and we learnt through a bad experience that geese will kill young ducklings so I’ve been experimenting with different ways to keep the geese and ducks separate. Now we have 3 different aged groups of ducklings that need to be kept separate, as well as all the ducks and ducklings from the geese.

One pair of ducks were sitting on eggs in the same nesting area, and when the first clutch hatched out, they both abandoned the second clutch. I managed to rescue quite a few of the second clutch by collecting the eggs and hand raising them through their final stages, one at a time. My husband and I had to learn how to use the incubator we have, and we used that to hatch a few eggs out too.

All up we now have 40 ducklings. The eldest is the soul survivor of it’s clutch (the others were killed by the geese), then there are 19 that are a mix of a couple of clutches that roam about together, then 10 of the next clutch and finally 10 more of a tiny clutch that are only about 1 week old.

I’ve worked out ways to keep them segregated through the day – and then also in their perspective yards at night time. It’s been quite a challenge – but without my constant vigilance with them we would not have had as many successes.

I love animals – and caring for this lot is all a part of being me. Part of what I’ve chosen for myself in life.

Every year I get just that little bit closer to this goal. At present all three are being challenged, with my brother presently undergoing Chemo for lung cancer and my sister in a phsych ward suffering severely from the nasty side of her bipolar disorder.

I can still meditate, walk and relax out in the garden. I can still look at the good things that have come out of my troubled life. I am still aiming at turning my life around, health wise, through better diet and lifestyle.

I’m succeeding so far in being calmer, happier and healthier.

I love singing so much. There’s just something about it that can really free you up and relax you. All my life there has been some sort of music in my life. Yep – singing is definitely one thing I can not do without – and I still want to make some sort of career that entails me singing for people. I had such a buzz on Tuesday: first I sung for a small group in the morning and then for another in the afternoon, they loved having me sing for them – it’s great having my talent appreciated.

You’d have thought that being in my late 40’s I would have already done this. Well – to be honest – the styles I really like don’t look as good on a size 20 (Aussie sizes) frame than it does on someone a bit smaller. Yesterday I tried on some size 16 skirts – and managed to get the zippers up. So now, at just under a size 18 (Aussie sizes go up in increments of 2), I can feel more confident wearing the style I like. Long, flowing skirts and a mixture of top styles to suit the situation I wear them in; or jeans or trousers with a nice soft lined top.

But occasionally I’d like a change. Today I put a deposit on a layby to buy a wig. It’s short haired, black and red. I’ll never get my own hair cut that short, nor could I afford the upkeep of regular trips to the hairdresser to touch up the colour. So soon I’ll have a hair change that I can go back to whenever I want to at a fraction of the cost (in the long term).

I love the idea of the shock factor when I take the time to dress myself up nice and put on my full makeup. It makes me look so different from my everyday dowdy look.

I’ve got a few old wigs hiding in the cupboard – I’m going to spruce them up and start wearing them more often too. I also like the incognito factor.

For so long I’ve been who I thought I was meant to be. Now it’s time to find my true identity and be who I am.