learn to meditate

So Im no longer an assistant co-leader on the meditation course. Im worried my practice will deteriorate but I have to keep persisting, the effects have been good and I know without practice they will not last. I also walked a labyrinth in a related goal and I realized that their is a certain meditative quality to the prayer connected to that experience, which I also enjoyed. I think my first bit to help my practice stay strong is to create specific meditation times that get respected like workout times though I will also count yoga as meditation. I think I need to set a certain amount of times per week aside as meditative times. Hopefully I can keep it up :) Summer is so chaotic!

So as of now I have led the body scan, mindful movement, and a 25 min meditation. This week I lead the emotions/body meditation. Its getting easier to keep my voice steady and pace my words to my breath though this week I noticed the vulnerability that comes with meditation since I was leading the group as opposed to meditating with them. It was just one of those times when there was alot of contact with emotions and unification of the body with these emotions.

Well leading a body scan meditation on Thurs….though feel like a bit of a fraud doing so since its my most disliked meditation and I have yet to complete it without falling asleep….will update on how it goes….

This week that passed i meditated 3 times on my own (no group). This is huge progress on my part, since I live in my head, meditation and re-connecting with my body is so difficult to initiate. Also did 5 X a week of yoga with some meditative movement. It was a good week. Last am on ch 5 of Full Catastrophe Living…Breathe and Be.

I think that this goal will be ongoing and potentially life long. Im taking a mindfulness meditation class professionally and I’ve found that making meditation a professional thing takes something away from it. My intention had changed and it had become a very frustrating thing. I think mindfulness will be a professional pursuit and more mantra based meditation will be a personal pursuit. So far my greatest realizations have been that a) my breath is boring b) do onto myself as I do onto others, share the compassion c) meditation creates space to think as opposed to reacting…..over and out

So i’ve now managed to make it to my meditation group 2 weeks in a row and it looks like i’m going to make it to this week too! so I actually managed to have this great session 2 weeks before but I havent been able to get my mind as clear since. I think the hardest part of this meditation is learning non-judgement, as I constantly feel like i should be improving (whatever that is) and then I feel blah when I dont..so I’m going to work on meditating and not judging my progress but just doing it!

So now that my schedule has changed I can no longer make monday morning group meditation so I’ve been trying to look for alternatives. Tommorow I will try the Friday evening group, but since Friday is a going out night I can see it being hard to stick with this group. In the meantime, I’ve been squeezing in meditation during the day by meditating on the bus on the way to work, I look like someone trying to grab some extra sleep but really im chanting my mantra

I am now finally attending weekly group meditations at a local church. I was worried that they would be too churchy for me but they are just right. Now the goal is to try to meditate outside the group environment….