he’l remain nameless.
i mean this on a few different levels.
like, id just love him to understand me.. he thinks he does since he read an online journal of mine by accident, but i had editted that about a month before he seen it. he appears to be the right person to tell that would listen, try to understand, care, want to help and be able to keep it personal.
id love to have the guts to be totally honest with him and just say it all, but i find it hard. im afraid he’l really not want to bother with me if he sees me at this extreme real level and maybe even decided to back off from me
i couldnt cope with that
its all quite a gamble. because he already thinks he knows and if i wait al tell him the real truth what if he gets angry i didnt tell him before now?
hmm i dunno,
its definitly something i want to do though, and before its too late and i go really too far some nite on my own
