Nail varnish update: this week I have mostly been wearing black. Not sure why. I guess it’s kinda edgy. One practicality to it is that I’ve been able to fill in any chips with a permanent marker, meaning my manicure has been pretty much flaw free for a good 4 days. Ohh yeah.
Tattoo update – I have my first tattoo and have booked in for my second. I feel that my tattoo has been helpful to me in this goal – it helps me to remember who I am at some level, to record the moments of clarity. I’ll be having my next tattoo on my foot. There are several meanings behind each, and also, in getting these tattoos I feel like I’m truly making my own decisions, declaring my independence, and revealing personal truth…
Deep, right? Skin deep at least…
I’ve also been having a lot of weird dreams, which I’m probably taking way too much notice of…
I also figured out I’m not a graphic designer. Creative, I am. Artistic, I am. Do I have an eye for design? I believe I do. But graphic design? Cold, commercial graphic design? Web design? Vectors? logos? Gradients and pixels? Is that what I want to be doing? No. No it isn’t. It has took me this long to finally realise and admit it. Through College and Uni I have had my doubts, but have always thought ‘well just because that tutor disagrees…’ or ‘I’m not enjoying it right now but it’ll get better…’ My autopilot has took me a little too far in that one direction, and now I’m just in the process of turning it around – I think something is building in me now… I’m getting inspired…
I’ve downloaded a crazy amount of music lately – from Sinatra to Paris Hilton to Disturbed to Shakira to David Guetta to Foo Fighters, Abba, Chicago soundtrack, Britney… I like a lot of different types of music, and I’m going to have on my iPod the songs that I LIKE, not songs that I think others will approve of… I spent too long letting people judge my taste in music (which once resulted in the unlikely swing from Ibiza anthems to thrash metal)
Learning to drive is a wake up call… I feel like I’m trying to wake my brain from a long sleep – to stop being oblivious, to take notice of things around me and react appropriately…
And that’s enough self indulgent musings for one day, methinks!
