Because I find it a challenge dealing with people. I think I’m also more sensitive than most people that is why I perceive pain more than average.
So today, I dealt with a person with ego issues. She berated me for being too honest (that what I said embarrassed her). And she even condescendingly told me that I should not post embarrassing remarks in the social networking website.
What should I do? Hmm… I have so many things to do than to dwell on this. If I would be ostracized for being me, let it be. I think my being too frank (yet tactful) has been a perennial problem. I think I’m also too clumsy for public speaking… It’s a learning lesson.
Authenticity serves my soul well… but not for the public. It’s a big theater out there.
I sense this yoga club is getting a bit competitive.
I want to be better but I need to have the discipline to practice often. Yes, there’s a lot of work but I should make time.
I’ll just be myself. I don’t need to prove anything.
No matter what they say about you, it is you who decide if you let them destroy you.
At first I feel my ego crumble as they look down at me. I am worthless, I am stupid…. And they have to rub it on my face. They will make me feel that I am nothing.
They are feelings after all. I am not worthless, I am not stupid… I am my own person. I am not afraid that this person will take my dignity. I am not afraid of whatever this person thinks of me. He or she is free to do or think whatever they want to but they can not destroy me.
I have gone a long way from where I’ve been to slump to where I am right now. This may have a reason. It could be a sign that I should pay attention to my heart’s desires… What I really want to do in life. Life is too short just for me to be a slave for work and keeping up to somebody’s standards.
Om Sahana Vavatu Sahanau Bhunaktu
Tejas Vinavati Tamastuma vidhwishavahai
Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi
Last night was rather quite sad. Even after I said this prayer I encountered violence. I felt sorry for myself… I shouldn’t.
I should congratulate myself for being ever-smiling sincerely last Sunday during my rounds. It really feels light and I feel the strength within being confident.
My next project is to be able to carry myself well during stressful situations. I wish I’ll have the grace and wit to overcome such.
My friend, Jennifer, told me that her friend, Hedy, described me as an “intellectual.”
I just have to accept that there are some people who just don’t give a damn about everything. Their ambivalence should not affect me as a person. I am who I am and I will not feel sorry for myself. Quiver.
More people notice that I look like this young actress. Even one asked to take a photo with him.
I know I am my own self… that I should not be compared to others because all of us are unique. But hey, a little comparison could sometimes help. ;-)
In the community of yoga practitioners, my former friends were there… I’ve read a post that was addressed to all my colleagues except me.
I’ve felt it. Could this be karma (since I was honest about my comment about the venue)? Sometimes social networking sites make me lonelier. Things become more transparent and people are too.
So if I feel more alone in this world, I shouldn’t change the way I am. I want to do more good. If they don’t like me, I can’t help it.
I went home after 2 beers, some hi’s and hellos. I know happiness is what you make out of a situation. But I felt alienated. They all have their own groups and there was only 1 person who talked to me.
My friends… I wondered… aren’t really my friends at all. I don’t know.