feel better about myself

I am not sure why I am having such a hard time with this. This past week has been soooo difficult. I am really trying to give myself a break. PLEASE WISH ME LUCK AND STRENGTH THanks for the support

I have really been working on how I percieve myself versus how I want to percieve myself. I have been trying to be more conciencous about how I talk to my self and that effect on my state on mind. I am happy that I was able to speak my mind at work to my CEO and Administrator along with the rest of the team. I think the information that I brought to the table was pertinent. I clearly stated my concers, explained their importance on how they will effect the facility and the quality of care that we provide. Finally different way to solve the problem. All parties disscussed and I feel like progress was made. Professionally, hopefully within the organizations and to aknowlege me. I was able to assert myself as a woman professionally, personally, andthe ability to hold on to the strenth I felt in that moment and not feel bad about it. Usually I feel like I overstepped my bounds and I dont want to let too much of myself out. People dont want women esp. in nursing roles to be strong and directing. THey expect loving nurturing caring quiet. I am all those thing and I can STILL be strong and polietly assertive. It was great. Looking back a year from now I never thought I could be so clear, calm, and poised. YEH ME!!!

I felt better this am but as the day went on I felt worse and worse….It will be better tomorrow. I am going to a horse show with my daughter. She I so BEAUTIFUL I love her she has so much spirit and personality.

I know I am very hard on myself and I have to make a concious effort to not be self ciritcal. I always feel like I should be better than I am even though when I force myself I know that I have accoplished alot in my life. I can look at the facts about my life and know that I am a good person who has done more than I ever thought I could…I just dont feel it. How does a person translate what they know about themselves objectivly to a feeling of self worth??

I have tried so many things and I just dont feel it.  I have read books, go to therapy, adressed people in my family about issues, talked to friends, and journal.  I even let myself cry about sadness I just cant figure out where it comes from.  I just know it is there.

My therapist said that when a person is starting to realize they are good and worthy the people and situations that dissapionted them makes them sad.  That when you grow up in chaos you develop a self image that something is wrong with you and that is why all the bad things happened. When you begin to work on that and see that you do have value all the things that happened come back and now you have to deal with how sad it really is.  I am not sure if she is right or wrong. U hope that time will give some peace within myself.