love myself more

i think it would be more appropriate to have a goal that reads:

fall madly in love with me

not in a sensual or romantic way (although i have heard of some who have done just that looks confused… blinks) but in a ‘gosh, i really really really love who i am and no one can take that away from me no matter what they do or say’ type of way.

yeah. madly, deeply, truly. and just think i could send myself flowers and chocolates on valentines and feel justified…

lol

that self-discovery is the most pain in the arse trip one can ever take? well, today is your lucky day!!! with the information you are about to receive i will also include a free bit of advice for anyone over 12!!!

self discovery is the most pain in the arse journey you can make

and the free advice is this: nothing is impossible only improbable if you see it that way. oh and don’t eat the gold dragees…

EDIT 8/05/07(there was an image here with a cake… but I ate it)

coughs

testing, testing, 1… 2… 3…. is this thing on? i don’t think it’s working… what about that switch over there? no? that is just the volume? should we try turning it on at least? well then try switching those wires out… maybe that will help. no? it can’t hurt can it?

taps the goalophone

testing…

i think it’s broken…

not me. pooh bear did it ineffectively too but he certainly did it lovably…. not much else to say ‘cept it is still a rainy day on this goal.

How much am I worth? I am worth $1,673,550 on HumanForSale.com

very strange. very strange indeed. but they don’t include miscellanious talents like tying a cherry stem with your tongue… i figure that would get me an extra $22.50 at least… I wonder if this is a good or bad market price for a human?

I also found out my barcode price… $7.04

should i be concerned? hmmm

It only gets better. The last 5 guys that I thought I had a friendship with dumped ‘friendship’ because I wouldn’t have sex with them. So the former post on this goal with ‘adore’ should have read ‘lust’. Wow, I feel like such a winner, again. What the hell is it with men? (Sorry for you guys out there that are genuine; this doesn’t apply to you.) If you want a freaking toy go to ToyRUs… better yet go to Cindies—it is more your speed since all your innocence is lost anyway!

Being treated like all I am is some man’s potential bed notch is breaking my heart, seriously. My self esteem doesn’t ride on this but it sure takes a beating every time this happens. And recently it has happened all too often.

From me to all the a-holes out there counting bed notches instead of feelings… (insert nasty swear words here). Get a spine.

I apologize in advance to any sensitive readers out there, but crap, I had to get this off my chest. This has happened to me 3 times this year. I’m slightly pissed about it. And I am very hurt.

you would figure that being adored by the opposite sex would help but in my case it makes me feel awful. i want to just swack them away with a large blunt object and say ‘hey dingbat i don’t want a relationship!!!’ but no they take it as a challenge. yeah that makes me feel like a true winner. i’m someone’s unrecorded 43things goal of the day.

i decided today to just be frivolous and enjoy myself. All i did was listen to music, tidy my bookshelves and of course to the necessary mom-related stuff but I felt so good.

I feel a semblance of my old joy in myself returning… last night I flirted shamelessly and I felt DAMN GOOD about it (alright, I wasn’t shameless but I did flirt).

Funny thing is one of my very good friends suggested I needed to get out there and be coquettish since it seems to be a necessary feminine outlet of expression…. after last night I think I can agree. Imagine that. Flirting for self-fulfillment… LOL

There are things about myself that I should celebrate with joy and thankgiving… but when I am confronted by all the glaring deficiencies in me… I break down and cry out to God. I want to learn to love myself more…