meet M.

Sometimes I doubt if he was real. His postcards, his handwriting, his recent emails show me that he exists. Strange when we need to confirm that an experience happened. I can’t remember his voice, though I remember how he looked at me, I remember his eyes, his hands and now I understand everything. So, M. you were worth every moment and I am wishing you all the best in your life…

I’m feeling very strange about this. I guess I wasn’t emotionally ready… because the emptniness doesn’t go away.

I met him. I never felt this compatibility with someone before, but last night I received a long email telling me how difficult it would be to sustain this distance relationship. Curiously, he ended our relation like this. I think this is a pattern in my life, that somehow I need to solve. I’m trying to see the positive side of this story (for some time, he made me believe that it would be possible to love again), but I’m feeling empty, really empty.

Time travel…

I haven’t been so happy in a long time. I can’t believe that a person that is not physically here can give me so much. He is so tender, passionate, delicate and sweet…

I’m so happy to “have” him in my life, even if he is so distant. The time is coming and I’m getting more and more nervous. Hehehe

M. has booked the flight. I’m nervous and anxious about meeting him!

In spite of the distance there’s something very real between us. We kind of promised each other a date, in september, a long weekend … I’m afraid of the possibility of not happening.

I have given up on meeting M. ... but I really want to meet him. Even if he lives so far away. It started as an adventure… and maybe I have build an image of him that doesn’t correspond to reality. But I want to meet him!