think before i speak

I have adopted a new goal of Take three deep breaths before reacting. This goal will replace the “Think before I speak” goal and the “stop overreacting” goal. It seems a bit more SMART. We’ll see how it goes! :)

sometimes, just shut up.

but I did well at it the other day, and am doing better in general. I need to have more awareness of my own talking. Like breathing, it often seems to happen without me even realizing it.

I listened compassionately, considered carefully, breathed deeply, and stood my ground. I diffused conflict with grace. I am proud!

Had to do some very careful talking yesterday, and will have to do so again today. Trying to resolve some conflict between a student and teacher at work, and I have to start laying teachers off too. Very difficult. Luckily, it’s not too hard to think before I speak in these contexts because I know the pitfalls that lie in wait for me there. But it’s easy to say the wrong thing still, and being silent is not an option. I’m nervous about it.

I just realized I have three goals relating to my style of verbal communication! This is a sensitive point for me. I think this goal – think before I speak – is key to the other two (say exactly what I mean, and talk less, say more).

But not easy. I hear yogis often take a vow of silence because it’s the only way to practice this. That seems extreme – and is not possible in my current job. What to do?!

On Friday, someone said something to me that seemed cruel and played on some of my vulnerabilities. This is someone at work with whom I’ve argued before at times of stress. I saw red and opened my mouth to protest but stopped myself before I said anything and just walked out. I don’t think walking out on the conversation was the most graceful way to handle it – but I’m really proud of myself for not engaging in an argument, for stopping the words before they came out of my mouth.