post random thoughts

_{This is how I’m going to spend this evening, meet my good friends; hot beverage, painkillers, nasal spray, lozenges, tissues and books.}

GOD I want hair extensions back so bad right now. :(

- I’ve liked to curl my hair

(as you can see, my hair is shorter again, the extensions are gone – for now)

- I’ve been developing a new crush – AGAIN. Why do I keep repeating the same pattern? but you know, he’s really cute (aren’t they always?) and I swear he smiled at me once! That’s all it takes, it seems

- I’m starting to get more and more excited over my trip to Dublin and London, I can hardly wait!

- I’ve been listening to Jason Mraz on repeat, I wish he’d come to Finland one day.

It’s silly how a smile from a cute guy (from work, I hadn’t seen him in ages and thought he had quit!) can stir such strong, irrational and head over heels kind of feelings, it was so… elating. A stupid day turned immediately brighter, and even now the thought of the situation puts a stupid grin on my face.

Yeah… I have a problem. Is there a rehab to cure one’s addiction to men?

^{The picture has nothing to do with the statement below – it’s just damn funny.}

I love Irish accent.

^{Officially tomorrow but :)}

Oh dear, how time flies. Lately, I haven’t had much anything to write about, no progress in any of my goals and my mind has been blank for weeks. Even though I haven’t done much during the weeks, I feel I haven’t had time to think about myself and my feelings. I have three days off from work now, and I hope to be able to just sit back and reflect on everything that’s been going around me for the past month or so. I feel a tension building up inside me, and I need to figure out what it is before it causes any harm and distress. There are questions to be answered, and also answers that lack questions: I feel as if I’m already holding the solution in my hands, I just don’t know what the problem is.

I wonder how I feel like tomorrow. But she was is so beautiful._{I never imagined it could really happen.}

Lately, it has been difficult to get decent pictures of me, and I’m not saying this is a particularly good one, but you know. It’s quite okay.

I wonder if the reason why I seem to have so few words these days is that my life is rather empty. Besides work, nothing much happens around me, and lately I have not had the energy for anything else but the most basic motions: eat, sleep, go to work. Inspiration has been a rare visitor, but perhaps it will become a more frequent guest – alongside with motivation – as spring advances and summer approaches. I certainly hope so, I feel like I’ve been in a deep sleep for the past month. I remember much nothing of that time, all is grey haze. My life has slipped into a dormant state again, and I think it would be high time to wake up now.

I’ve almost forgotten how to use words, there is now flow in my writing, not yet, but I know it’s there, the ability to live through each word. I just need to find the right channel again and tune in.

Words elude me. For weeks I did not want to write at all (thought should I have wanted to, I doubt I would have had words even then), and now that I’m slowly regaining higher spirits, words still escape me. I can’t put this state of mine into words, everything I try to write comes out wrong (I can’t even spell words correctly, it seems). But I guess… I just wanted to say that things are slowly starting to look brighter again. That, and I’m still alive.