allow myself to be wild, crazy and irresponsible sometimes

I’m doing really well with this one at the moment!

I got drunk in the afternoon with an old friend. Twice. We sat around in Covent Garden drinking beer we’d bought from the supermarket like a pair of right old winos. Until we got moved along by a security guard.

I went out to the pub in London with a group of people, two of whom were really old friends, one of whom I hadn’t seen in four years, and got gracefully pissed on seven bottles of red wine. (Between us, not each. Gosh!)

I went out last night with my boyfriend and another friend to a Balkan Beat Box gig, got a little drunk and danced like a loon. A sexy loon. And cavorted in showers of sweat from big hairy guys. Actually, that part was less fun.

And made my first attempt at busking (albeit unsuccessfully) by the river! And I played frisbee!

1. Went out dancing twice, to an indie night (Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party, Pixies etc) and a dark eighties night (the Smiths, the Cure, Gary Numan etc.). Both were really fun. I love dancing!

2. Bought an entirely unnecessary aubergine-coloured crocheted cardigan with a frilly neck and tie at the front. Very pretty with no practical function.

3. Went to a Shy Nobleman gig.

4. Bought and listened repeatedly to the Arctic Monkeys CD. Danced insanely round the kitchen.

5. Spontaneously decided to get my hair cut in a cool mod stylie with a thick straight fringe and layers at back and sides.

Tonight I hope to go to see Elektra play live. Yay!

Here are some more general guidelines that I want to follow, continuing on from what I wrote yesterday:

1. Maintain a light and fun-loving attitude at least half the time.

2. Keep a sense of perspective about my problems and the negative aspects I see in my life.

3. Take opportunities.

4. Allow myself to be spontaneous.

5. Don’t get too rigid about routines.

6. Don’t choose not to do things for the reason that “I just don’t do that!”

It’s a part of my nature but lately I’ve got out of the habit. It’s to do with getting older and more sensible (?!). It’s to do with being in a relationship – not that I would want to be out of it, loving the different kinds of freedoms being in a relationship offers! – but not having the singleton’s freedom to be capricious. Simply put, there are things I used to enjoy doing that I just haven’t done in a long time. Things like getting drunk in the afternoon, skiving off work, going out and partying, spending money on frivolous things like clothes, even caring about such things, being entranced by rock ‘n’ roll, staying up all night, doing things on the spur of the moment, spending time in ‘escapist’ activities like watching films or reading all day, doing any of the above more than once a week or two days in a row…

Sometimes I have this weird compulsion to be exactly what I think people expect me to be. I need to let go and have more fun. Remember that I am free!