get over my social phobia

really are so much better to me than i previously gave them credit for.
sometimes, they get preoccupied too.
but then they do something that makes me cry, not because i’m sad, but because i realize how lucky i am to have them.

My friends basically go out of there way to make me feel like shit.
No wonder I always am so afraid to go out places.
Seriously, I wish people I knew weren’t so selfish.

Seriously, it’s mind blowing.
Like, I still have my awkward in my skin moments, but they’re getting less and less frequent.

I performed in a bellydance show in front of a packed auditorium…without even feeling nervous, or wanting to kill myself when I messed up a turn..

This is like some kinda crazy high for me, because either I’m usually so nervous I wanna puke, or I feel so bad if I screw up..

For the first time, I feel like that’s really progress.

I’ve been putting myself out there lately, which is absolutely terrifying.
Usually, I just freeze up and have trouble responding to things…or I’ll go polar opposite with nervous chatter that makes me sound like an idiot.

But, it’s Spring Break, and today’s the first day I’ve actually put aside to get stuff done and have _{me time}.

I’ve been so uncomfortable all week, hah.

Hopefully, I’ll just get used to it, or something.
Because my comfort levels have not changed one bit.