This goal is never really accomplished, so technically I can’t really check it off my list. But I do try to apply it to my every day life.
I’ve done a lot of things to try to put myself out there recently. I said things I was so scared to say that it felt as if I couldn’t form the words with my own mouth. I’ve done things that made me feel like I was going to throw up right there in front of 50 people. Ha! Here are some things I’ve accomplished and been fearless with:
On Saturday, I played in front of about 20 people that are my friends/acquaintances. And it is so much harder to play in front of people you do know, than strangers. But I did it. A week ago, I just started letting go, and singing in front of a few of my closest friends, but never in front of 20! I did it though. I played guitar (and I’ve never done that in front of so many people either). And I sang with it. Wow! Afterwards, I figured out that they couldn’t hear me well, but it’s the thought that counts! I did it! I got over my fear! And my friends said that I have an amazing voice.
Something else I did was signed myself up for being first viola in an ensemble that I will play at an upcoming orchestra contest. I also signed myself up for a solo! I can’t believe I did that. Ha!
I auditioned in front of a dude for a $200 scholarship to a music program.
I also talked to my crush! I was so proud of myself for that. I went up to him, and started a conversation. That was a big relief. I’ve crushed on him for about 2 or 3 years, and I’ve never felt so crazy about him, even though I know he doesn’t feel the same way.
What I’ve been doing, and finding that it works, is this. I put myself into scary situations, and then I feel like I have to follow through with it. So I tell someone that I will do something (like sing for them), and so I feel compelled to keep that promise, and follow through. Or I will sign myself up for a competition or a talent show, and realize later that I can’t back out. :) Or if I want to talk to my crush, I will put myself in his vicinity so that if I don’t say anything it will get really awkward, then I will feel like there’s no way out but to face my fears.
I try to do that thoughtlessly, not thinking about how nervous I will be, or how much I will hate myself later for signing myself up for that.
