remember exactly what my mum's voice sounds like

She would have been 54.

I know I’m unlikely to ever complete this goal, but that’s OK. I can get an approximation, though and obviously I would be happy if I was able to hear it exactly.

Of course I miss her – she was always there, whether I was being an idiot or whether I was doing something great (on at least one occasion, it was both at the same time), and although she never said anything directly, I know she was proud of me. She was also the first person to call me on starting so many projects and never finishing any of them, which led directly to me actually making Teardrop Explodes. I could certainly do with a kick like that every now and then these days! Actually, probably more frequently than that. :-)

Happy Birthday, Mum.

Today, I was looking through some old photos, primarily from the first 3 or 4 years of my life, but also some from my mum’s 40th birthday party.

Slightly overwhelming at points, but also fun. I discovered that my predeliction for gesticulating, sticking my tongue out and generally acting up for the camera began at a very young age. I also seem to be laughing a lot, which is nice.

It didn’t quite help remind me of her voice, but there were a lot of expressions in there that made me smile. I suspect most of them were aimed at me :-)

I’m not sure how I’ll achieve this goal. It’s just turned five years since she died (in fact, tomorrow will be exactly five years since her funeral), and I only have a fleeting memory of her voice. I find that very upsetting.

Providing some comfort is the fact that I at least remember her last words to me.