cut off my other head! or in other words tend my resignation to the Ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (AKA the Procrastinator's Society)

Ages ago my mother gave me a poster which features a turtle with two forward facing halves and no rear-end. I put off hanging the poster . . . for years. Here it is folks, The Procrastinator’s Creed . . . No Longer my creed…:
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrrow holds the possiblility for new technolgies, astouding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probablility of a miracle though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decided to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignifiacnt the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/wait/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrowm, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will becoume a member of the Ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastingator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.