I’m not 100% on that, though. Its definitely something I want to do. But wanting it and actually doing it are two very different things. I just can’t get past this anger.
Common sense dictates that I should sit down and explain it all to him. Reality is, I avoid all communication like the plague. Rather, I prefer to rant anonymously online, curse him behind his back, scream my guts out in the car where no one will hear me….. you know, all the usual psychotic dysfunctional behaviours. Which just serve to make me even angrier with him, because it’s his fault that I can’t communicate with him, right? I have no part of that problem. Nope, not little ol’ me.
This is the part I hate the most. Knowing I have to find a way to forgive all the wrongs I feel he has done, but still being SO hurt by them, I can’t see straight.