Cope with Oppositional Defiance Disorder

Son and I got into it last night about his grades, especially Algebra. I wanted him to work on the problems he got wrong, but he refused. I let him sit there for a while, but I just got so infuriated. So I told him he’d sit there until 3am if he had to and it would continue each and every day theeafter and I’d make sure I was in his face to watch every little bit of his life and then we’d see how difficult I really can be.

It wound up to cussing and pushing each other. He finally sat down and tried to work the problems, but he didn’t know how to work them. I think all the refusals were really to cover up his lack of knowledge.

So I helped him try to understand it. He was still defiant by not looking, interrupting me, huge sighs and whining. I tried to stay calm but it was hard. Finally my daughter had to step in and show son what I was doing… and of course he listened to her.

This really bothers me. I know I made some bad moves last night. I’m so set on winning and not letting him get to me, but he does. And it makes me even more depressed each time I screw up with him and each fight we have. My failures with him are adding to my depression.

My 13yo son has ODD. He and I finally (after 6 months of haggling) signed a contract about his conduct and my expectations. I checked his grades and he’s failing two and close on another, so I grounded him – no tv and no computer. He tries to argue with me but gives up when he sees I won’t back down (yay me!) So the next day he calls me from work wanting to go to his friend’s house. No you are grounded. [what? you just said no computer or tv] yes, that too but also no tv and computer, grounding means you can’t go anywhere [no it doesn’t – and he goes to find it in the dictionary] of course I’m right, but he doesn’t see the definition of grounding. I point out to him the line about restricting a teenage to the house. No reponse from the boy, but he did back down.

It is so very frustrating when you have to define every term.