stop worrying

I am starting to get nervous about my classes as my first day comes slowly nearer. I am really excited to go back to school and see all of my friends that I haven’t seen all summer, but I am scared that my classes will be overwhelming. I know that part of my worry is connected to my lack of self-confidence. Even though I have proved to myself countless times that I am really smart, I can’t seem to let it sink in. I always second guess myself. This semester, I need to change my mental attitude. I need to remind myself frequently that I can succeed, because I do have the brains and work ethic.

I have found that the song “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus really helps me when I get anxious. It is nice to be reminded that it is the journey that counts, not the destination.

Oh my gosh! I am freaking out, and I can’t stop! It is driving me insane! It is like I have OCD, because I know that my fears are irrational, but I can’t control it. My class schedule for next year is going to be rigorous, to say the least. And I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep playing through all of these worst-case scenarios in my head. I am losing sleep over it and wasting time worrying when I could be doing something productive. The thing is, my very-worst-case scenario would be doing poorly in a class, and dropping it. Then I would need to change my major from math to business/math, which really isn’t that bad of a scenario. Either way, I am going into a field in which I will be able to be an actuary. So, realistically, my worst nightmare wouldn’t be that bad. But I just can’t stop worrying! I rationalize my fears constantly, but it doesn’t seem to help. I am at my breaking point and I need to find some way to cure myself of this mental agony.

I was reminded of the song that my mom used to sing to me as a little girl. “Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.” I need to be willing to hand my life, future, everything over to the fate of God. I know that He is watching over me, and I need to be willing to surrender everything to His infinite wisdom. He knows what is best for me, and I need to accept that I can’t control everything.