overcome depression and anxiety

Things are well right now. A balance of hypnosis, medication, diet, excercise, and regular schedule seems to currently be working.

Job=bad supervisor.

My vice-principal hates me. I just took a week off (which she supposedly had no idea about) and returned to a 1/2 meeting on everything I’d done wrong, not to mention an upcoming review.

My had to take a week off because my grandmother (more like my mom) died. Funeral organization and the sort.

I really feel dizzy, and mostly like letting go. Sometimes the fight is just sooo hard. I’m so lost again. It’s like clinging on to the edge of something and feeling your fingers slowly slipping.

Drowning myself in friends and family hasn’t helped, landing in the bottom of a bottle hasn’t helped, time off hasn’t helped, love hasn’t helped, medicine hasn’t helped and faith hasn’t helped.

I’m losing weight. I’m not sleeping. I want to bolt.

Somedays it’s easy and some days it’s hard.

I keep pulling through, and occasionally I’m perfectly fine.

I’ve improved soooo much over the past few years, and hope that someday I might be able to ween myself off the drugs, but right now I’m waiting for my life to stabilize a bit, my job to be on a more reliable contract, my divorce to be finalized, my period to return, etc…

We’ll see.

Someday I’d really like to get off the meds.
I’ve been through the paxil zombie state
The completely useless and agitating Celaxa
and the only thing that changed a thing seems to be the last six months on cipralex.
I also have to take sleeping pills to relax at night (and STAY asleep) Not to mention clonazepam for anxiety attacks.
I’ve been feeling great for the past few months except for a really bad week a few weeks ago.
I know I’m doing better, but I have to wonder how long it’s gonna take to get through this. It’s been a year treated now. Therapist, doctor, phychiatrist, intervention center, visiting family, time off, etc…