Keep being a good mom even when I'd like to run & hide...

The weekend trust exercise went fine, but we’ve been back for less than 24 hours and already DD#1 and I are yelling at each other. :(

DD#1 has a brand spanking new driver’s license. We’re leaving them at home for the weekend. Let’s hope the trust isn’t misplaced.

Despite DD#1 having discovered wild parties and DD#2 entering High School, the lines of communication are still open. I think that’s a good sign.

Apparently, DD#2 made some comment about alcohol and a teacher overheard her. She was reported to the guidance counselor who pulled her in for a talking to. She asked to call me from the office, and the counselor wouldn’t leave the room to let her talk to me, so things got a bit weird. Apparently she thought I’d yell at the administrator, but I was busy trying to make sure the woman wouldn’t freak out at DD.

Most likely the comment was something like “You’re too uptight J___, you should just get drunk like I do”. That would be typical of her humor. Scooter and I told her she was stupid for making comments along those lines in front of teachers.

(Yes, I am ABSOULTELY sure she doesn’t drink. She has her vices, but at this point they don’t include alcohol or drugs).

Also learned who the current boy is – he’s not ‘allowed’ to date, so she’s mentioned that she liked him but didn’t tell me his name. Dating, AFAICT, means claiming they ‘go together’ and talking at lunch.

I’ve known the boy vaguely since she was in elementary school. He’s a nice kid. I’ve done some school volunteer work with his mom, who is nice but has her quirks. It doesn’t surprise me to learn he’s ‘not allowed to’, but I doubt it will work well for her.

DD#1 has been doing very well with the learner’s permit, even Scooter admits she’s going to be a competent driver. She’s also started her first ‘real’ part time job. She got put on cash register the first day on the job, which should be surprising but it isn’t (it’s a neighborhood business, the owner knows me and is also that sort of a guy, he’d probably put her on cash register even if she weren’t amazing and remarkable and responsible)...

Not going too bad.

Yesterday, DD#2 confessed to me that she had forged a note for a fellow student. Apparently he got caught, and was being punished, and would not tell the school who wrote the note. DD told him to ‘rat her out’, then gave me a heads up on what was happening….

I told her that this time I would NOT back her up if she got into trouble, because she was clearly in the wrong. OTOH, I also told her that if the school did call about it all I would do is ‘yell at her’ a bit. I think ‘fessing up is worth a lot, and isn’t to be discouraged.

DD#1 just texted to tell me that the PBJ I packed for her lunch was yummy.

I’m starting to internalize what I’ve known for a while. When DD#1 has a hissy fit while I’m helping her with homework, she knows full well she’s not thinking in terms of yelling at me, she’s yelling at the homework.

I know I’m making her sound terrible here, all I can say is that she doesn’t act this way when she’s out of the house… I suppose she trusts me to keep loving her even when she’s bitchy… That’s supposed to be a good thing, right?

I am SO fucking sick of this. It has absolutely positively got to stop N_O_W with no ifs, ands or buts.

Spent Wednesday night in the ER my M-i-L had symptoms which would have been a minor worry for most people, but because of her medical history had to be checked immediately (and rechecked very soon, but that can be done through her primary). It was moderately busy, and we spent a couple of hours before they could do the tests, and a couple MORE hours waiting for the ‘official’ results (although the tech had already assured us that he couldn’t see any signs of trouble).

Last night, while the rest of the family was out shopping with a friend of the family, DD#2 fell on the ice, straight backwards. She managed to get into the house and was going to just take a bath and soak, then realized that getting up the stairs might be a problem, because her legs were ‘shaky’. That’s when she called us. We got home, and looked her over. Everything mobile, no visible bruising even, but a really painful spot on her spine and she couldn’t raise her arms above her shoulders without pain. She still felt a bit wobbly, too. So back to the ER (friend of the family stayed with DD#1). She really didn’t want to go. We’d spent too much time there the previous night. “It’s full of sick people and it smells bad” and she “wasn’t hurt that bad”. Had to bully and cajole her (you can ride in the wheel chair, we’ll buy you a candy bar)... Don’t know how much was denial, and how much was being afraid of big sister calling her a ‘wimp’ or accusing her of faking because there was no blood or visible bruising and because she could walk.

It was so crowded that the intake couldn’t even take our paperwork for at least five minutes (I mean, after we were handed it and filled it out…). I wrote down a brief description, then scrawled in big letters POSSIBLE SPINAL INJURY!!! Yes, I know that the incident and symptoms would lead them to realize that, but considering how busy they were with just getting patients in the door I felt louder was better… It took some self control to keep from yelling it out loud, but honestly I could see that they were working all out, it was just totally jammed.

They got her to the pediatric ER fairly rapidly, where we waited for a few minutes before a nurse came in, explained that it would take a while to get her to triage but that they wouldn’t wait for X-rays and collar. Then she examined her – the injury was below the collar bone, so there wasn’t any way to stabilize it. The X-rays took a very long time (because she was in pain, and had trouble getting into the positions she needed to be in). Then back to pediatric waiting (a real mob, because families take up lots of room). Finally we got to triage, where they asked the expected questions and took her vitals, then we were led back to the pediatric wing. “So she’s being admitted?” I asked. “No, we just don’t have any more beds in pediatric ER”. (wonderful…)

Surprisingly enough, we were out of there fairly rapidly after that. The MD came, assured us that there were no broken bones, found where the pain was, and gave her the usual reflex and neurological test. Basically, it’s muscle damage. She should take it easy for a while (no gym or backpack for the next week). Told us to give her ibuprofen and ice packs, and sent us home.

Surprisingly, the ibu and ice seemed to help (she had really been skeptical, because of the amount of pain she was in – so was I, to tell the truth). Not surprisingly, big sis had a little hissy fit and basically accused her of faking. It was the family friend who managed to get her to back off and apologize.

So, we’re back home. This one does not look like it will lead to surgery, physical therapy, or expensive medical devices (but keep your fingers crossed). If she behaves herself and allows the back to heal she will avoid lifelong back problems…. She’s taking today off school and should be back on Monday.

That’s enough now. Make it stop, please. Please.

I appreciate that the English teacher did not think my daughter should be in Honors English, and that she explained to me the waiver process I can go through to get her in without her recommendation.

What I do not appreciate is that she claims not to have the authority to recommend my daughter because of her middle B in the class. If there were no lattitude, they would simply refer to the grades and not request teacher recommendations in the first place.

Anyway, I decided not to argue the point, I’ll just fill out the form and seek the higher placement directly.

(Yes, DD knows about this, actually, she requested that I talk to her teacher…)

...DD#1 bought a new pair of pants which were too long. She asked me to show her how to hem them, just as I was getting ready for bed. I did, but she freaked out and said she couldn’t do it, and it would never get done… yadda yadda yadda, so I stayed up, hemmed one (sitting next to her and talking), then sat up and chatted with her while she did the other one.

Not enough sleep (especially since events have conspired to wake me up at three and not let me go back to sleep) but I can damn well nap tomorrow. Turning a whine fest into a reasonable (if not particularly deep) conversation has got to be worth something.

Went out last night, and wasn’t available to pack DD#1’s wound, so she did it herself (resented it, but did it).

Yesterday, after a morning where she could not speak civilly to me about anything, she decided she wanted a ride to school because of the cold, drizzly rain. I let her walk the three blocks. Not a victory, but not a ‘bad mommy’ moment either.

Still have to track DD#2’s symptoms, which involves asking intrusive, personal questions EVERY SINGLE DAY. We’ve sort of got it under control now, but it really bothers both of us. I suppose that’s going as well as it can.

Didn’t get the knitting done for 12th night. Haven’t done anything for 12th night. Haven’t taken the Christmas tree down…

Don’t think I’m making progress on this so far this year.