Sigh.
I really have to work on this. It’s not so much as I hate my body as I used to when I was younger. All in all, I’m pretty cool with my body, even if bits of it are stupid at times- esp. the former tantrums thrown my my bladder.
I usually go about hating myself as a person. Part of this stems from the very real problems and hang-ups everyone has and my tendancy to be a perfectionist. The other part is that I’ve let various people convince me over time that I am a bad person with no hope and that I might as well bury myself under some rocks because I suck. It is hard for me to get out of that rut because I am very much able to see the other person’s point of view as valid- especially if it has to do with me being somehow flawed because I’ve always thought of myself as flawed.
I guess I’ve been working on this via sundry means- mostly meditation… but it’s still rather hard because I feel that I’ve been walking around with an open wound for most of my life. I also feel people can sense this and take advantage of it.
Any road… this is something that needs quite a bit more work.
