compose a 43things about me list

i love hockey. its got everything. speed, skill, strenght, action. its a manly game that requires some level of grace to get by. i don’t play, but i love to go to games.

I’m also willing to go darned near anywhere. If you offer me a trip, chances are I’ll take it. I’m not high maintenance when it comes to travel.

I love to find things that aren’t far. Day trips are my favorite. I like to just go places and see what’s there. Local history monuments are great. So are weird statues, old buildings and other strange claims to fame. I want to explore more of Connecticut, more and more i realize just what i haven’t seen!

Maybe because I’m shy or maybe ‘cause I’m just weird, i need to dress the part sometimes. If I’m feeling a certain way, it tends to show in my dress. If I’m at something that will require me to be more outgoing or more formal or whatever, I’ll dress specifically that way, to boost my confidence and encourage me, even when I don’t feel like it. It means I tend to dress more femme sometimes that i necessarily identify as, but it balances out in the end.

If i spill salt, it goes over my shoulder. If silverware falls, i know who will visit. I know the rhymes and the reasons for so many things. Yes, I’m an engineer, i understand science, but a single crow is bad luck and itchy ears means gossip. I’m superstitious and OK with it.

I don’t like men who are shorter than me. I feel horribly guilty about this, but its true. Granted, most men are taller than 5’2”, but still. Its my only real hard and fast i have for dating men. Maybe its just ‘cause i like to look smaller than i am?

I suck at algebra. its all vague and mysterious. I rock at calculus, ‘cause it’s shapes. Its concrete and understandabe. Geometry is cool too, ‘cause proofs are like logic puzzles.

Oh, yeah, i’m a geek.

I have one scar on each hand. On my left hand is a C shaped scar near the innermost knuckle. I got it when I was cleaning my car and reached under the passenger seat. My hand caught on a spring and most of the skin peeled back. I was 16 or 17, and the first thing I did when I saw the blood was cry out for my mom.

The right hand has a long straight scar near the inside of my wrist. I got it when I was playing with my grandfather’s pocket knife. It was sort of intentional, sort of not. I don’t really remember the injury so well as the scar just always being there after.

I see them both every day, and they sort of stand out on my hands. They bother me a little, but I know I can’t change them. They’re just part of me.

I have very few things I’m really afraid of. Sure, there are times I’m scared, but things I really dread or will avoid all together are rare. I hate metal detectors, but I cope, I avoid them when I can, I used to try and avoid trips to the clinic to get pills because of them. I just am afriad they’ll pick up a strange metal object in me I didn’t know was there. Another is the doctors. That I will avoid as long as I can. I cry, I freak out before hand and after, but I am so-so during. I hate going. Racoons scare me too, for no reason, but they’re nocturnal and I’m not, so we don’t commonly run into eachother.

I’m shy in person. Unless I’m wearing something crazy and over the top I’m very reserved and have a hard time expressing what I mean in words. I’m not good at communicating my feelings in the moment.
I’ve journalled forever, and found its one of the few ways other people can understand what I mean. Its not 100%, but its better than it would be otherwise. Its why I like LJ so much.
Its also a good vent for me. Writing makes me sit and think about whats bothering me, and how to solve the problem. Writing, whether or not anyone ever sees what I write, is way cheaper than any therapy I’ve found.