look up to myself

A certain amount of this goal is being able to respect myself. When I look up to someone, I have a lot of respect for them. In looking up to myself, I want to have a healthy level of self respect. There is an aspect of this goal which includes that I must act in a self respecting way. There are certain things that I need to avoid, actions, behaviour, decisions etc in order to look up to myself. Sometimes a decision may not be easy to make, but I know that in the long run, it’s in my best interests and I must treat myself well above all else. This in particular will help me to respect, and look up to myself.

^{And there’s something in particular i’m getting at here, that i’m not going to say outright, but I want to have it hear as a record.}

I am that strong

While I stayed with my sister in Auckland, I met a friend of hers from university. She was in awe that i’d driven for hours, by myself, to visit my sister, and was only 18.

She recalled a conversation she’d had with her mum about it.
“A’s sister is driving * hours to see visit her, all by herself. Maybe one day I might be like that.”

I didn’t realise to begin with, but my her parents are quite protective, and she could never see herself driving that far alone.

It made me realise that I have quite a huge amount of freedom. I feel like I have things sorted. I have a car, license, a bit of money saved, and I have independence. I’m going skiing for free next week and I can’t wait. I’m going to university in February and I feel like I have some idea of where to go and what to study.

I feel proud. I feel like i’m looking up to myself. :)

The next huge step is to stop toying around, and hurry up and click the ‘run a half marathon’ button already. My sister put the idea out there, and I like the sound of it more and more each day. I’ve got months to train, I just need to committ. :)