figure out my future

I invited my dear Laura and darling Didem to form a team with me for this goal, since we all share the same important goal here and I also couldn’t hope for a better team for something like this! ♥♥

My last update was 8 months ago. I can’t say that a lot of things would have fundamentally changed during that time, at least when it comes to figuring out my future – I still don’t know what I want to do. But other than that, my life is going really well, which also helps with my worries about the future.
I’m not so concerned about what will happen to me, I know that I’ll figure things out eventually. I just have to be patient and let things come to me.

What I know so far about my future is that I will be finishing my studies here at the university of Tampere. I’ll try to get my Bachelor’s degree as a Nordic languages major student, and after that I’ll find something else, something more suited for me. Getting my degree will probably take about a year, maybe closer to two years. We’ll see. This will also give me more time to try to figure out what it is that I really want to be doing with my life. To find my true passion. I might not find it straight away, but at least I’ll probably take some steps forward and move along on my journey in life, on the right path.

I also know that I want to share my future & my life with Juho. The future looks very bright for us indeed. ♥
Lately I’ve also been thinking about what I really want from life, I’m trying to make a list in my head about all the things that are important to me etc. I’ll attempt to write that list down someday, I think it would be very helpful.

The future does not frighten me anymore, I’m ready to welcome whatever comes out of it with my arms held open wide. :)

When is it that I will find My Thing ?
_{When is it that I’ll feel like living as an adult, for real?}

Moving today, yay! :)
I still have some packing to do, my room at my mum’s is a mess right now. But it shouldn’t take too long.
I’m guessing it’ll be really weird tonight to be alone in a new house, but I’ll do something fun to make myself feel at home. Maybe watch a movie (at least I have a lot to choose from since my mum bought a huge batch _{[almost 200]} of dvds and I got to take the ones I want to see :D) or ask a friend over.

I’m rich, btw! :D Well, not really, but I got my student loan for the rest of the year on my bank account right away so it feels like I have a ton of money. But I’ll need to be smart about using it.

I seriously love my teacher, Carl-Eric ♥ :D I have a feeling I’ve said that before, but honestly! AWWW! That man is the greatest! He’s so sweet: I have this one paper that I should have written umm months ago and he’s still being patient with me and just letting me write it when I can and I don’t have to re-do the course. I would have totally understood if he had wanted me to go through the course again and re-write all the assignments ‘cos, let’s face it, I’ve been pretty awful with that last paper. :s But no, he’s letting it slide. I’m so grateful.

I also got an email from the history teacher that teaches Latin and I’m in! Woohoo! I think it’s the coolest thing ever that I’ll be studying Latin! :D I’m really looking forward to it. And the best thing is that my dear friend Sara is coming to the course too, yay! :) It’ll be really fun with her.

Yaaay! The system has now been updated and I’ve been able to apply for courses this morning. :> I’m so happy now, I was really scared that it would take too long and I would end up having nothing in my schedule.
I still can’t be sure if I’ll actually get into all these courses but I’m hoping for the best. At the moment I’ve chosen 8 courses for these first two periods (meaning ‘til Christmas). I have some crazy ones in there too – like Latin and Czech! :D Those are the ones I’m least certain about getting into, but they would be a lot of fun. I’ll know if I got in or not next week. I just hope I won’t be turned down from many courses, that would hurt my schedule too. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I’ll also have an exam next Tuesday: text comprehension, English. If I pass the exam, I won’t have to go through the course. I’m feeling confident that I’ll be able to pass it. :)

Now I’ll start packing my things and getting everything ready for the move!

Things have started to fall into place and it feels really good. :)
I thought I was going to have such a hard time getting everything to work out fine but now it seems I shouldn’t have worried so much.

I didn’t think I’d have any chance getting a place to live soon – it turned out to be a piece of cake.
I was afraid that I’d be screwed when it came to money – that seems to be working out too.

Today I went to the bank to sort out things regarding my student loan. I was afraid that it would take forever to renew my loan application or whatever (I was only informed yesterday that I had to renew it every year :x), but there were some lovely twists and now it looks like it won’t be that difficult in the end and things are already moving along. I’m not sure if I’ll get money already in September but I’m hoping for the best. But I will be getting my “student money” as usual, so at least I’ll have that right away.
I also went to the post office. I mailed an application to Kela so that I’ll start to get (okey, I’m seriously hating the fact that it’s so hard to translate all these official things) residential grant asap and I also made a notification for the magistrate’s office & the post about my move and let them know my new address.
And then I went to my mum’s shop and went through some of my things ‘cos I had to find my Swedish dictionary. :D I have it now, too.

Now I just have to worry about what courses I’m going to take. I’m waiting for the system to update my enrollment, I’m hoping it won’t take too long and then I’ll get to apply for courses. It’s difficult to try to find courses that interest me and that won’t overlap each other, but I’m trying my best. I’ve found a few so far, still need to do more research today.
When I have my schedule ready and confirmed, I’ll probably be the happiest girl in the world! :D

That’s it for now, I guess. Later this week I’ll need to pack up some of my things and move, of course.
And I have to remember to contact one of my teachers.

Tomorrow morning I am going to the bank to pay my university tuition bill, then we’ll drive to Tampere and I’ll enroll myself for the academic year of 2008-2009.
I need to plan what courses I will try to fit into my schedule, I’ve been looking through the selection a little bit. I’m just worried: admissions to courses start tomorrow and I might have to wait 2-4 days ‘til my tuition money shows in the system and I can start applying for courses. I’m worried that all the courses will be full by the time I get to join the “hunt”. :x
I’ll just hope for the best, I should be able to squeeze myself into some courses at least. It’s not the end of the world.

Oh gosh, so much to do… And so little time.

I think I know what to do now. I’ve made up my mind, the decision feels good and right, so I don’t think I’ll go back on this.
I just have to make all the little pieces fit, it’s down to the little details now and I can say that there are a looooot of details with this plan. But I’ll be happy to work on them.

What to do, what to do?
Should I stay or should I go? Sooner or later, when’s the right time?
Oh why does everything always have to be so hard. I have no idea how to go on from here. I can’t decide what to do, every choice has its problems.

At the moment it feels good to just take things one step and one day at a time. I don’t want to plan too much ahead and it would also be difficult. I don’t feel the need to have everything figured out, I’ll be happy to go with the flow of things. Everything seems to be going well.

What happens in the summer, what happens after the summer, what happens whenever – that is a puzzle to be solved one piece at a time. And right now I have someone to put that puzzle together with.

When classes end in a month
and I get this flat emptied,
I am leaving for London. No matter what.
I do not know for how long, but I’m hoping for ‘as long as possible’. The whole summer, ideally. I’m going to try to find a job there, get some money. I already have a place to stay in, things should be ok.

All I need to do now is be patient.