be happy

I used to tell myself that I couldn’t be happy until I fixed certain things about my life or myself. I didn’t really give myself permission to be happy as long as I felt so flawed and my life was so unsettled. Well, my life is now much more settled into a good place, and as for myself, I realize that I will always be flawed. If I can’t be happy now, then when? Never! So I am giving myself permission to be happy- even as I try at times to improve myself and my life. But I can still be happy, even without getting to perfect first.

When I feel like I didn’t do a good job at work (usually regarding paperwork), when I feel like I let someone down, when I don’t think I’m living up to my potential or my standards, I think I don’t deserve to be happy untill I do. It’s like I have to punish myself by feeling bad. But if I wait until I’m perfect, I’ll never be happy.

Most of my goals are accomplishment goals. But I need to make happiness a priority too. I think that, to a certain extent, happiness can be cultivated. Yes, there are also circumstances and temperment. Some people have proposed that we have a “happiness set-point” which we can’t get very far from for very long. I’m going to re-set my set-point!