learn to pray

the first step was to notice when my spontaneous prayers tended to occur. funnily enough, it was always when i was in motion—in a car, on a bus, biking, walking…

from there i started to try to purposefully have some prayerful thoughts whenever i was in motion.

now i’ve started taking “prayer walks”...i walk, thinking about what i would like to pray about, until i come to a good place to sit, and then i sit and have silent prayer in that spot for a while.

i’m not sure if what i’m doing quite qualifies yet, but it’s definitely in the goodthoughts category, at least. and i am extending my ability to do it with purpose and a certain degree of forethought. which i think is good.

i would like to eventually learn to pray out loud, with words or in song. i think once i can do that, i will consider this goal accomplished.

i have a really hard time figuring out how to address my concept of the divine. i sometimes do it spontaneously when i am very grateful or blissful or concerned, but i don’t really know how to intentionally sit down and pray, and it’s something i would like to do more regularly.

i think part of the difficulty is that i don’t really believe in a personified deity. i don’t belong to any particular faith, but my most prominent influence has been quakerism (on my mother’s side). i sometimes attend quaker meeting, and i am very much able to feel the divine presence in worship with others, but i find it difficult to address the divine on my own, and i want to cultivate that relationship.