train my cat

It’s official.

It all comes down to poop. If he poops he’s quiet. If not he’s loud. And if he’s poopling regularly he’s doing it in the litter box. If he’s doing it every other day, it’s in the hallway.

Now, how do I make him poop?

He’s been a dream the last 4 nights in a row. And pooing in the box! Without meds even!

This all coincided with boyfriend returning from 2 weeks out of town. Also, my life is somewhat more settled.

Also, pooing has increased to daily instead of every other day. TMI? I think it’s a big clue.

Starting a meowing journal in effort to figure out timing and dose for the Valium. Unfortunately I can’t document the starting and stopping without turning on the lights to write, and that makes him stop and that catches his attention and changes things.

Howling from 1 am to 4 am last night. While doped.

I don’t even have the energy to call the vet again. Next we try prozac and the cat sitter won’t be able to give it to him and he’ll miss a few doses each month and …

If he’s stoned all the time, how will I know if he’s ever over his demon-phase?

So after I made the incredibly difficult decision to put the cat down, he starts behaving like a sweetheart. The last 2 nights he’s been great! Only howling for about 20 minutes on Sunday night and less than 10 last night! Ah sleep.

We went to the vet this morning. And he was even good there for a while. He sat on my lap like a limp rag for the whole interview and didn’t start snarling and hissing until the vet actually touched him. We confirmed that he has been gaining weight (2 lbs in less than a year!!), but ruled out all my other medical concerns. In short, while she’s concerned about the weight gain, she thinks the howling is not a medical issue. It’s a behavior issue and possibly because of my traveling so much and having irregular bed times and got giving him enough play time.

She gave me a few options, including training, medication, re-homing and death. She said there is a small market of folks who are looking to adopt special needs pets, particularly families with diabetic children often seek out diabetic animals, but his behavior and last week’s attack would make him unsuitable for most situations. She seemed to think the humane society would put him to sleep and it would be better to not subject him to a scary shelter for his last days. I honestly don’t have the energy or patience to attempt another training regiment. We decided on Valium. Prozac was also on the table, and might have been better because it would regulate all his grumpiness – not just his nighttime grumpiness, but I like the idea that I can only medicate him as needed and frankly, grumpiness is his personality and most of the time I can live with it. Also, this way the pet sitter won’t have to try to pill him (she told me that she didn’t think it would be safe for her to do so) and he doesn’t have to be medicated when he’s having a good night.

I kind of feel like I’ve really failed at training him. If it was a medical issue, it wouldn’t be my fault. But now it seems it’s a training issue = my fault and I’m fixing it through drugs. I’m so glad I’m just a cat owner and not a parent.

I hope this works.

It’s another week until the vet appointment, but I’m going to try to get it moved up. I canceled most of my upcoming travel because my grandma is dying. That means I’m home to take him in. And home to be kept up all night.

Tonight after him keeping me up for 2 of the 5 hours I planned to sleep, I was bawling my eyes out and he comes over and sits next to me and makes some noise. I couldn’t hear him over my own crying and got the idea that he wanted in my lap. Awe how sweet, he’s going to give me some cuddle comfort. Nope. That noise was a hiss, and my cuddle was a face full of claws and more hissing. I can only assume he was freaked out by my own gasping and thought I was hissing at him or something…

Yeah, so my eyelid won’t seem to stop bleeding and it’s all swelling up. My alarm is going to go off in about an hour and a half from now, ya know, so I can get up refreshed and do all the work I procrastinated on all day long. And if I attempt to sleep anywhere but at the kitchen table he’s going to start in on the howling again. So I’m up for the night. I really wish I had some coffee in the house! Green tea is not going to cut it.

We’re going to the vet next week. And unless the vet can give me some kind of TREATABLE medical reason why he’s turned from an ordinary low-level demon cat into a fully formed devil from hell, he just might have to go down. I wonder if he’s in pain himself and thats whats going on. Do I have it in me to go through more testing and trial and error and treatments.

I can not live like this. I don’t know if I can live through experimenting with drugs that might help, that require me to give him a pill (why aren’t all cat drugs injectable?!?).

I’m deliriously tired and panicked and my face is bleeding and I can’t concentrate on work that I really really really need to be doing right now. So who knows if I’ll take all this back and delete this entry after a couple nights in a hotel this week.

I don’t need this. I really really don’t.

After a week away I thought he might have chilled out. He hasn’t. We played. I cleaned the already clean litter box. I spoiled him with extra food and fresh water. Bedroom door open. Bedroom door closed. Window open. Window closed. He meowed from 12:30 to 3:30 then from 6:00 to 8:00.

This after returning home to terrible news and crying for hours over my grandmother, then emails of an impossible work load and all my souvenir Talavera dishware got broken in my checked baggage (what was I thinking?). Oh, and jet lag… It was not a good night. Or a good morning.

One more week to the vet appointment. 3 days until I leave town again and can sleep in the quiet of a hotel room.

Made an appointment with the vet. I can’t get in for 2 weeks, but better then than never.

On the agenda: Howling, excercise, pooping, weight gain, meds.

maybe he’s afraid of the dark!

Seriously though. Big big big deadline at 9am this morning. I stayed up until 6 am putting the finishing touches on my paper. Meanwhile cat was cute and quiet as a button all night. I finally went to bed at 6 for 2 hours of shut eye and guess who starts meowing. And once again, I have NO IDEA WHAT IN THE WORLD HE WANTS! He kept it up for the whole time I had to sleep. I didn’t freak out. Instead I tried to do the detached mindfulness thing and tried to experience the blood pressure raising… Maybe dozed off for a few minutes here and there.