get through my quarter-life crisis

from http://crazyquarterlifecrisis.blogspot.com/

The Upside

I will be 23 next month. Men ages 14-100 look at me when I’m walking down the street. I have constant entertainment available on MTV. I don’t have grey hairs or wrinkles yet. I have just enough stretch marks to get me to the gym. But not enough to keep me out of a bikini. Other people are glad to let me borrow their kids. And when I’m done, I can give them back. If I can’t pay my rent, I have the last-resort option of living in a house with seven strangers to see what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. I have plenty of time to make up for my mistakes. And none of them, so far, have been permanent. Except for my tattoo. As soon as I decide on a career and make some money, I will pay to have it removed. Teenagers look up to me and I can give them advice. Adults still think I’m cute and give me money for my birthday. I’m years younger than my co-workers, and they don’t know it. When I get fired, I can tell everyone I just changed my career goals. When I have a hard time getting hired, I can tell myself it’s age discrimination. My six-year-old sister idolizes me. But I don’t have to discipline her. I sleep over my mom’s house on Christmas Eve. And Santa still has me listed at that address. I can read and appreciate Hemingway and take a break to flip through Cosmo. I show my college ID to bank tellers and they understand why my balance is $12. And it’s okay that I don’t have a car. I’ve met some of my closest friends on the train.

Engaged for 3 years now, still no concrete plans for the wedding, a Christian for 10 years, my pastor turned out to be a phony, reestablishing my faith based on God, not people, expecting to fired any day from my 7th job in the past year, in my 6th year of my Bachelor’s, with bad credit, can’t get loans to take my last 8 classes, moved out of mom’s, miss food in the fridge, $18 in the bank, no license, no car, my check for last month’s rent bounced, 2 weeks late this month, can’t decide if becoming a housewife would be a waste or my destiny, gaining 10lbs a year, never had to diet or excercise before, I don’t know how, adult acne, all my high school friends are rich now, anyone else?