Quit Smoking

Haven’t done so well on this goal.

I’m starting over. I’m back on day 3. That’s the tricky one they say, and it’s certainly proved tough for me before, but I actually don’t have any real desire to smoke right now. I miss the routine but not the nicotine.

East Coast air travel was fucked yesterday.

I waited in so many lines and had to plead and argue with so many ticket agents that I just wanted to scream and throw things. And chain smoke.

But I did neither. And I feel good about that decision today.

Being home alone with my front porch beckoning me to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette and just let the time pass peacefully will prove the true test, though.

I’m doing my best.

Yesterday was the first day officially smoke-free.

The day before, I only smoked one cigarette. I slipped up at night after dinner.

Today I’m leaving my boyfriend to go back home. I won’t see him for three weeks. It’ll be a bit difficult not to smoke. I’m consciously making efforts, though.

Plus, my mom, a former smoker who quit only after surviving throat cancer, will pick me up from the airport. It sucks to smell of smoke around her. I’m relying on this to help me stay strong.

After lunch today, my boyfriend and I stepped out. He pulled out two cigarettes, one for each of us. I turned mine down.

I expected to bum a few drags from his, but I really was content to sit with him and NOT smoke.

Yay for baby steps! It’s been a long time since I can remember NOT smoking after a meal at a restaurant.