get over my trust issues

My mom told me she saw him walking away from /her/ house today… He was supposed to be at the doctors… I don’t know what to think… He said he was looking for jobs… what jobs? That street is full of houses… I should trust him, shouldn’t I? But I’m not stupid… I trust my intuition… and it’s saying something’s not right… and my heart is pounding so hard right now… and it hurts so much…

He says I don’t trust him… Has he ever thought of why I don’t? He says I don’t trust him… How can I when he keeps giving me reason not to?

It’s hard for me to trust men after having a record for dating men who eventually lie to me or betray me in some form. I’ve was cheated on when one of my ex decided to sleep with my best friend only a month into the relationship and keep it a secret for five months after that. I’ve was lied to numerous times so that another ex of mine could be with another woman. The others are equally as bad. Except for one. And I wanted to say, “screw it, I want to take another chance with you” but I’m afraid that eventually, he will turn out the same way. Except he has proven to me again and again that he is not like the men in my past, that he is so different from them. I believe him because I have proof. Sometimes he does get on the borderline of doing what the others have done, but he always redeems himself. He says I don’t trust him and before, a small part of me didn’t. The part that was afraid. Now, I do trust him because I have given him another chance. And this is the largest step to getting over my trust issues. Perhaps it’s the only step I need, I’m not sure yet. But with him by my side, I know I’ll be able to figure it out.