exercise. period.

I have not been on my account in ages, so I am trying to do lots of updating. Since my last login, I have done this. I have been working out with some friends 5-6 days a week. We have done it consistently for almost 2 months. It has now become a habit. Plus, I got a gym membership….. sort of feel guilty when I don’t go because it is wasting money. I have lost 25 pounds… and I feel great!! =)

Well, I will find out next week about the “mass” in my neck. I am starting to believe that it is nothing to worry about. I just really hate the waiting!!! Since my last visit, it has started hurting. This is partly because he irritated it, and partly because my TMJ is acting up.

As far as exercise goes, I have befriended some classmates that have agreed to work out with me. I am sooooo thankful for that. I am the type that likes to work out with someone there too. I just hope that they can keep up with me wanting to go several times a week. If they stop going, I ultimately will as well. (I really need to be more independent!!) The person, Rooz, who has graciously allowed us to use the equipment for free at his apartment complex will be the most likely to keep up. He works out just about everyday, sometimes twice a day.

I am more motivated than ever to stick to a regimine. I HAVE to lose weight now. I cannot afford to go buy all new clothes when I have clothes that would fit if I lost 10 pounds. I CAN DO IT!

Well, I know that I need to exercise. I know that I make up a ton of excuses. While it is extremely hot, that is not the reason. My heart has really been acting up. I now have an episode every single day. Even that is not the reason.

I have not really felt like it because I have a lot on my mind. I went to the doctor last week about a swollen lymph node. Now I have to have a CTScan on Friday for the mass. I have been worried now for a week.

Not to mention that I have no self-discipline whatsoever. I am so disappointed in myself here lately. I don’t work. I send my kid to pre-school so that I can stay home to organize papers and clean up the house. Somewhere it was mentioned when I left work that I was going to be an assistant for my hubby, but that has fallen through months ago. He works so hard. And yet I can still have the nerve to say that I do not have time to exercise! What a joke I am! I am so f-ing mad at myself that I am like this now. When did I get so lazy? When did I become this person who does absolutely nothing all day, day after day? I have got to put an end to this. I am sick of myself! I am pissed that I ever allowed myself to get this way in the first place. So, now I have gained 20 pounds since I left work. I am just a little over where I was in high school, but still. This is a drastic change for anyone in just under 4 months.

Sure I will say it is because I quit smoking. It is a great excuse, but I have quit now for almost 2 months. I do not ever plan on smoking again- for myself and my son. So, when does the gaining weight stop? When do I finally say no to food? When do I actually start exercising instead of complaining about all the weight I have gained.

My next excuse will be that I have no one to be a partner with. It would be great if my hubby did this with me, but he does work a shit-load of hours a week while I sit at home “assisting”. I have got to stop being so co-dependent on exercise. I used to exercise every day for an hour no matter what. I felt great. What happened to me?

No more excuses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I find myself making up excuses as to why I can’t just get out there and do it. Part of it is just plain laziness. I also get preoccupied with other things- mainly this damn computer. Shame on me that I have yet to develop the discipline I need in life to do the simple things that I WANT to do.

that when I put my mind on something, it is hard to shake it loose. I am determined this time to change my lifestyle. I want to get back in shape. I don’t have that much to lose, just really need to tone up. So, now that I have quit smoking- and can actually breath well enough to do so- I am going 100% official “health nut”. I think I am even going to include going vegetarian. I am about 80% anyways. So, I am going to go all the way. Since the sun has finally began to shine here in Cali, it is motivating me to get outside again. After like 6 weeks with only sunshine for 6 days, I have to get my body adapted to going back outside.

Anyways, I am going to start back with walking and work back into running. I am going to go this. I guess that a goal for this goal is to just do it consistently for 21 days. 21 days to form a habit of it. That is the first step. ultimately I want to exercise 6-7 days a week. My hot yoga on the weekends is a great way to both end a week and to start a week. Okay, enough talking, now more action!!