make entries about what happens in my life so people who read my ramblings don't get bored when I have nothing to say about my goals.

I’ve just finished my fifth this morning, and my tummy feels a little funny. But they’re so good.

If you ever go to Norfolk, don’t stay at the Ramada hotel in King’s Lynn.

A very little effort in family relationships pays off surprisingly well.

My hair is long enough to need a hairbrush again. I’m considering dying it.

This weekend I’ll be painting myself blue again. :o)

between hanging on and just waiting for the feeling bad to be over, and denial of whatever it is that’s making me feel bad in the first place. Feels like there’s something I should be working out, but it’s too hard to think at the moment.

My trip was fabulous. Some parts were fascinating, some parts were a little scary, most parts were tremendous fun. Gibraltar is the most touristy place I’ve ever seen, but the Rock is spectacular, and simply crying out to be gummy-beared, which will require another trip there at some point in the right company :o) Morocco was wonderfully exotic, with so much to see and do and experience that I’m definitely going back there someday too; intense to the point of being overwhelming, though, so I think five days was enough for a first visit! I acquired a plethora of souvenirs, a few words of Arabic, and a taste for sweet mint tea; alas, the day I got back I discovered I’d also acquired a particularly nasty tummy bug, which put me in hospital for a night and in bed for almost a week. But at least it hadn’t started till I got home, so it didn’t spoil the trip.

So how’s everyone here been?

Mmmm-MMMM. Why do I not do this more often?!

is currently asleep on the bed beside me, snoring in little high-pitched feline whiffles. It’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard. :o)

Some of you might remember that I moved back home to my dad’s house in December. I’m still here, and it’s going… alright. I’m really missing having my own space, and my dad drives me nuts sometimes, but we’re managing to get along ok. And it turned out to be providential that I moved when I did; shortly afterwards my company announced they were making half my department redundant, so as of the beginning of this month I’ve joined the ranks of the unemployed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted – I hated that job and it’s such a relief to be out of it, without having to make the decision myself, and with enough of a severance payment that I don’t have to worry about money for the moment, now that I’m not renting my own place. It’s still change though, and change is stressful even when it’s good, not to mention the huge decisions I now have to make about my future. On top of other, tougher stuff that’s been weighing on my mind to a greater or lesser degree for several months, it’s been the tipping point that’s made me go slightly crazy. My head’s a mess, and I had been letting that upset me and make me even crazier; but of course that way madness lies, so I’m trying to do something about it. It’s a good time to try, now that there’s nothing else claiming my attention. I think it’s gonna be a long haul; I’ve noticed the last few months that when I start feeling better after a particularly low point, it’s easy to blithely decide I’m ok now and rationalise or ignore the big issues, and of course they come back and bite me in the ass at the slightest provocation. I’m learning that it’s possible to be ok on the surface and still be batshit crazy underneath, and that papering over the cracks does more harm than good. (One would think this should have been more obvious from the outset, but then the obvious is never obvious to me until it’s been repeatedly beaten into my thick skull, with attendant bruising.) So I’m going to take the opportunity to do some serious work on myself, so’s I can start the rest of my life healthy (-ier), whole (-ish) and ready for (most) anything.

Hmm. I didn’t quite mean to spill all that, but it’s written now so I’ll leave it. I told you I was crazy. :-p

I’m back :o)

to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and a New Year full of promise and possibilities!

I’m not quite sure how my December got so insanely full, but it is – so much so that this evening is pretty much the last free evening I have until Christmas. And even now I should be packing, but I wanted to check in here. I can’t access 43T at work anymore, so it’ll be another while before I’ll be around much again. Hope all’s well with everyone – I miss you all and I’ll catch up as soon as I can.