take better care of myself

I really don’t want to be on this drug anymore. It’s working, as far as preventing migraines go, but it makes me cloudy-brained and not as pleasured by food. Also, I’m so so so so tired. Constantly. I’m used to getting about 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, and using the extra time to read, and I’m finding it’s quite hard to do this right now. I do not like it.

I’m going to try and wean myself to the lowest possible dosage, and maybe start taking some supplements that prevent migraines. Coenzyme Q10 is supposed to be good.

I keep having to remind myself to eat and it’s really bizarre, considering how much I love food.

I’ve recently started a medication called Topamax to help lessen the frequency of these terrible migraines that I keep having. So far, it seems to be working quite well, but it also makes me forget to eat. I’m rarely hungry, and most of the eating I do is because I should, not because I want to. I’m hoping this will get better as my body gets used to the drug, though my boss who is also on it says that it really doesn’t.

Oh well, perhaps I’ll just have to live with being migraine-free AND skinny. There are worse things, right?

Starting taking the following supplements:

Omega-3 Fish Oil
Piracetam
CDP Choline

All of these are supposed to boost brain function. Piracetam combined with Citicoline are so-called “smart drugs” or nootropics. I’ve had a hard time concentrating these past few months so I’ve been researching a remedy for this for some time now. Hopefully these will help me jumpstart my brain once again.

I’ll post my experiences with these on here after I’ve been taking them for awhile. Really just started today.

ALSO:
- Starting back up at the gym tomorrow.
- Started working again this week too, which means an extra 40+ hours of running around. I get a lot of exercise just by being there, seriously.
- Getting back on my healthy-eating kick.
- Not driving anywhere at all, so I’m on foot quite a bit.
- Going to see if my back can handle bike-riding this week.

My diet has taken a drastically healthy turn. I cut out sugar about three weeks ago and boy, do I feel fantastic. I’ll still have a little treat sweetened with agave once in awhile (I’ve been getting these little cacao balls from the raw place by my house) but I’m not eating cake and cookies all the time anymore. My skin is looking great, and I’ve magically lost about 5 pounds or so. I’m eating a lot of greens, raw veggies and fruits, sprouted things, grains. No refined carbs at all, and only small amounts of oil for cooking.

Can’t check this goal off just yet though, because I’m STILL not sleeping. It’s become rather annoying – during my work week I’m a totally insomniac and then on my days off I’ll binge-sleep to try and make up for it, therefore wasting quite a bit of day off. Maybe I need to see about some drugs for this, to get over the hump. I find that I simply CANNOT turn my brain off after a 10 to 12 hour, crazy workday.

I keep some sort of treat on hand in this house at all times, cookies or chocolates usually, and I allow myself to have just a tiny bit of something every day. This has become a serious addiction, and I didn’t realize it until I’d been cooped up at home for a couple of sick days with no treats in the house. I’m trying to appease the craving with some dried fruit, which is half-working.

I can’t believe I let my sugar addiction get to this point. That’s not like me. I think some sort of detox may by in order. Health month, anyone?

I’m feeling a little under the weather these days. Probably have caught the bug going around the office or something. I’m holding off on working out until I feel well enough.

But anyways, I’m just using this post to document the fact that I’ve started taking Omega-3 fish oil supplements today because I just read a book about fish, and the author swears that taking supplements have bumped his energy and mood by a significant amount. We shall see! Found a brand that seems okay at Whole Foods and bought a 3-month supply. That should be long enough for me to decided if it’s working or not.

I’ve been hesitant to check this off due to one lingering problem, which was finally diagnosed properly just the other week. I have terrible migraines, and was put on a combination of prophylactic analgesic drugs (nothing too hardcore) to prevent these sometime in the spring. All was fine, until about 6 weeks ago when I developed a dull-thudding, continuous headache that basically never went away. Now I know that I was experiencing a Rebound headache, which is caused by the very drugs I was taking to relieve this!

Right now, I’m in the middle of weaning myself off these. One of these drugs affects some serotonin receptors so getting off of them has proved to be a giant pain in the ass. I’m feeling grumpy, sad and just…weird all around. Like I want to crawl out of my skin, almost. The very first day of the weaning process was actually mimicking a time several years ago when I was getting off other, less beneficial drugs (ok – heroin), although far less dramatic. Not cool!

So right now I’m anxious and pissy and sad for no reason. I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night and I’m also having trouble motivating myself to get anything done. I’ve all but given up on my novel for the time being because I can’t concentrate. All I can do is sit here and wait, but in a week or so I’ll be back to normal and life will go on.

Then maybe I can check this one off for good.

I think I could perhaps be okay with marking this goal done if one thing were to improve: my sleeping habits. I only need about 6 hours a night, but with all that’s been going on in my life and in my head, I haven’t even been getting close to that. I’d say I’m getting about 4 a night on an average work night. Sometimes I crash out and take these awful, long naps in the middle of my days off and then I wake up and feel useless and wasted. That’s no good for body or brain. No one wants to feel guilty for sleeping through a perfectly good day, and it throws my already spotty pattern off kilter even more.

Not really sure how to go about fixing this either. More exercise than I already do? More yoga? Herbs? Tea? Therapy?

I’ve caught something for the first time this year. So odd that it should happen in June and not in one of the colder months. I splurged a bit this afternoon on some really good (and healthy) vegetarian takeout, and I’m currently full of soup, veggies, tea and vitamin supplements. I should be able to fight this off quickly if I take proper care of myself today.

AM DOING:
- Daily vitamins
- Regular exercise
- Super healthy diet (with extra protein these days)
- Somewhat regular sleep schedule
- Taking my medication every day
- Abstaining from alcohol entirely

NEED TO DO:
- Manage stress
- Cook from scratch more often
- Be more careful at work
- Walk instead of drive
- Talk about things that are bothering me instead of holding everything inside
- Meditate
- Express myself creatively more frequently
- Make my living space feel more homey
- Floss