Eat one European Starling every day

Starling taste horrible. I thought they would taste like chicken (just like cats do). But they are awful.

I will eat one starling every day. I already ate all the cats within 20 miles of my home, and now the starlings have multiplied. Now I recognize my error in eating all those cats; the ecological balance is all messed up. I can only fix it by eating starlings for the next three years.

I am also going to introduce wolves, badgers, wolverines, grizzly bears, javelinas, democrats, green party members, communists…everyone I can enlist to eradicate starlings.

No..wait…then the balance will tip the other way. Dang. I’m in big trouble. Where’s Ralph Nader when I need him most?