overcome bulimia

i dont know what to do. i have told people. 4 people know to be exact… you know, i was actaully having a normal life, but it just had to get fucked up. just… i just fucking hate it… i never knew how easy it is to just throw it al up until tonight… i couldnt not do it… it hurt not to… and it felt just so good to get the shit outta my stomach. i dont know what to do… why dont i just live with it. i mean, every now ans then, i guess its not bad to just throw a bit u…right?

its enough… i cant do this. no one is on my freaki side any more.. i have no one.

i jus want to be skinny…

i could just quite. i freakin hate this… ijust… i cant. i cant stop and it hurts soo much.. i want to. but i cant. i quite…

its been 5 days already!! it feels like forever… wow. so i really havent thrown up… ok…only like a spit up! but pleaseee… dont count that. i just. it wasnt my fault. ha, every time i take a shower… god… its like a huge battle… i cry i yell, and i fight this fucker… i hate it.l.. but i will win!!! yes! im happy! i just hope i can still keep going like this!

ok, so i know i still have half the day to go, but im happy! im happy i didnt purge this morning! i cried, i fought but i didnt!

—I started this battle, now im going to end it—

i know this may sound weird, but i gotta write somthing here. just so i wont get up and stuff my self and then throw up… just so i wont do that. i wont. i know i wont… i wont. ok. tomorrow will be the start of my new life. today i screwed it up in the morning. but tomorrow will be better. take it one day at a time…

I have only told one person about my bulimia, but the funny thing is, she was telling me to do it. she was doing it too. i mean, why not. i had the power to throw up. i was iun control. until i realised that i would keep eating and then throw up automaticly… when ever i ate. i want to stop. i need to stop. i can stop. but its going to take a while. i have been bulimic for over 8 months. i want to stop. please can anyone help me, or modivate me on why i should stop? i know i have tons of reasons, but every time i look in the mirror, i think, i look discusing, so i go throw up… help..