Embody the symbol of the lotus

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn’t cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. “How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?” thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. “How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite.” The big monk looked surprised and said, “I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?”

http://archives.chennaionline.com/society/zen.asp

the layers of interaction between two people: There are the people themselves, their perceptions of themselves, and each person’s perception of the other person.

That’s at least two layers of perception to get through before dealing directly with someone.

I am responsible for my half of the perceptions.

It’s so much work, rising out of the muck. It’s sticky and works to drag you down.

So I shut my office door this morning, cried my eye makeup off, called my husband, cried some more, reapplied the makeup, tried to get my work done, went for lunch and some hot chocolate with a good friend at lunchtime, and just kept plowing away at my tasks at hand.

It feels like a number of people in my office are hyper-involved at creating craziness, including my boss.

Craziness is so much more exciting than peacefulness that people seem to work to develop it. It is nurtured and cultivated like a carnivorous plant that thrives on psychotropic stimulants.

Here’s a recipe for successful management:

Escalate everything into a huge problem!

Don’t bother with actually getting work done because we need to have closed-door meetings about other people and fake emergencies!

Make accusations and say people are acting “bizarrely” and “not as a team member”! Or, pass on these accusations made by others to the person being spoken about as a secret, so it cannot be addressed by the accused.

Do not talk to anyone directly, just make accusations behind their backs!

Finally, and this is the most effective method of all, bring up issues completely based only in emotion and reaction, with no proposed course of action, and then tell people to ignore them.

IE “Everyone says that you are being inflexible and doesn’t understand why you cannot work on a project when you have not yet received the materials. But I don’t want you to think about that. Ignore it.”

Um, well I could have if you left me gloriously ignorant, and since I can’t do anything about it, and you won’t let me explain the situation to anyone or confront any accusations (shh! It’s a secret!), and since you are perpetuating accusations and problem making, how am I supposed to ignore it, exactly?

Okay, so my tack is going to be just keep my head down and work to finish immediate tasks, but that hasn’t really worked so far. I try not to let it effect me, but it is so poisonous.

I know that there is a simple technique to move toward enlightenment, but I get distracted from it by the muck.

Must distance myself from the craziness. Form non-attachment. Avoid being dragged into crazy town by the crazy band wagon.

how people are perfectly kind and gracious until they don’t get what they want? Or if they think someone else is getting more than they are?

Or that people put no importance on their word?

Yeah, work today is particularly hellish. I was just told by my boss that it is okay, nay expected, for us to make empty promises and break them.

You know, instead of creating a realistic approach and delivering what is promised, we will over-promise and under-deliver and not take anyone else’s time and expectations into consideration, not even our outside vendors and least of all mine. Cause I always pick up the pieces.

Rising above, rising above, rising above …

The Lotus is a very important symbol in India and of Buddhism. It refers to the complete purification of body, speech and mind, and the blossoming of wholesome deeds in liberation.

The lotus refers to many aspects of the path, as it grows from the mud (samsara), up through muddy water it appears clean on the surface (purification), and finally produces a beautiful flower (enlightenment). The white blossom represents purity, the stem stands for the practice of Buddhist teachings which raise the mind above the (mud of) worldly existence, and gives rise to purity of mind.

An open blossom signifies full enlightenment; a closed blossom signifies the potential for enlightenment.

- from a list of the Eight Auspicious Symbols of Buddhism on kalachakranet.org.

It’s so hard to accept and forgive someone who has wronged me, especially when those actions continue. However, it helps for me to remember that acceptance does not equal approval.

Acceptance and acquiescence are not the same thing. I think maybe acceptance is relinquishing control and personal investment and acquiescence is allowing and permitting an action to continue.

The talk I listened to last night at the sangha spoke in part about how our egos are fed by our judgments about others and their actions: that we find it difficult to release those judgments because it helps define us.

I know that if I accept those actions by which I am offended/hurt/frightened/saddened it will take the wind out of the actors’ sails. In theory, those people will see that they cannot get anywhere with it.

Those people by whom I feel offended cannot fight me if I don’t show up to the battle.

My challenge is that I always want to fight. I don’t want the people by whom I feel affronted to get away with their accusations/actions or to think that their accusations/actions are okay or to give in and let them win, but the truth is that my fighting doesn’t stop any of that from happening. They will still do those things and believe those things and think that what they are doing is okay. I cannot change that, but I don’t have to allow myself to react or feed into it or encourage it by giving them an adversary.

Additionally, I take away that self-hurtful action of judgment. It is a heavy load to carry all the time. It is work to hold grudges. It eats into my happiness and contentment and being to be concerned with my perceived injustices.

This is something that I have above my desk at work. I had printed it out maybe two years ago, before I had started to study Buddhism. My practicing has made it more powerful for me:

“Everyone who contributes in any way towards our happiness and well-being is deserving of our gratitude and respect.

If we had to give back everything that others have given us, we would have nothing left at all. The fact that some of the people who help us may have no intention of doing so is irrelevant. We receive benefit from their actions, so from our point of view, this is a kindness. Rather than focusing on their motivation, which in any case we do not know, we should focus on the practical benefit we receive.

I must cherish all living beings because they are so kind to me.”

It is a daily reminder of my quest in the “embodiment of the lotus.”

I am visualizing the symbol of the lotus at work, where my surroundings are murky. I am trying to rise and bloom above the muck of the politics and pettiness.

Even the lotus plant needs the mud to survive: that’s where the plant’s nutrients are. If I were cut off from work, I would not survive either: that’s where my income is, but I need the sun too, the enlightenment.

I am aspiring to rise above the muck and not have it affect me in all the areas of my life. Work is a vital place for me to start. The quantity of muck is overwhelming.

The roots of a lotus are in the mud, the stem grows up through the water, and the heavily scented flower lies pristinely above the water, basking in the sunlight. This pattern of growth signifies the progress of the soul from the primeval mud of materialism, through the waters of experience, and into the bright sunshine of enlightenment.

http://www.religionfacts.com/buddhism/symbols/lotus.htm