Our Grammy died this afternoon. She had one last bad health bout and that did it. I am happy that I have had this goal because it pushed me to remember to do little things like write a letter or make a phone call. And I will always treasure the few visits we managed to make out there over the last few years. While I will always wonder if I could have done more of any of the above I do not regret the efforts that I did make and they were certainly better than before I put up this goal. I think I put it up when she was still able to visit us out here! Grammy will be missed. Hopefully we will make it out for the funeral.
I want to continue to do this for my local Grandma but couldn’t bear to leave up the goal that included them both. At this point I don’t think I need to have a specific goal to remember to contact her. I have done it many times that I haven’t logged here, anyway, so it’s more second nature by now.
Here is a picture of me as a baby with my Grammy and Pap Pap (he has been gone many, many years already) and my two cousins. My Grammy never did remarry and now she will be able to see him again, and also my cousin Johnny, who was one of her favorites ;)
I saw my Grammy about two weeks ago in Pennsylvania. A girlfriend and I made a trip to DC to visit another college friend of ours and we went up to see Grammy for the afternoon. I think she was really happy about it. We played Yahtzee and chatted. We were there for about five hours and she was at dinner for one of those hours.
My other Grandma, OTOH, I haven’t seen in weeks or spoken with her! But we will see her on Easter.
I called my Grammy last week and she was feeling crappy. I was keeping her up, I think, and she didn’t have her teeth in, betcha money, because I couldn’t understand her. Her life is so much just trying to stay alive. Her entire existence is tending to her health. Very depressing. Must call more often. She is becoming more and more frail and every foray into the hospital for a small problem turns into something bigger because of some issue that starts from being in the hospital – a contagious stomach issue, a bedsore, a cut from the nurse buzzer thingy (!). Sigh.
Invited local Grandma to have coffee with us when we passed through town mid-week last week. Took her 25 minutes to travel 3 blocks to meet us. Uffda. One thing we’ve discovered is that she is more pleasant to be with 1-on-1. She doesn’t have to compete for anyone’s attention and so she doesn’t resort to saying weirdo things or playing the cranky old lady part. I think she was genuinely happy we had called.
with Grandma. It was her Christmas present and was just her, my husband and me. On the way home I was thinking – I have spent very, very little time alone with my Grandma. In fact, I can’t remember a single instance. We are always with at least my mom. But this was good because it made me realize something: we tend to talk around my Grandma. She’s quite hard of hearing, and doesn’t sometimes understand stuff even when she does hear it, so it’s shamefully easy. But when it was just us and her, there was none of that. We were at the restaurant for two hours. We didn’t talk about anything so earth-shattering, but she was involved in the conversation the whole time. It was nice.
She was telling us again about how her late husband’s son has recently had health problems, she was happily recounting how the neighbor’s daughter came to visit her and took her out to Perkins for supper. This daughter would also play dominoes with us. Funny thing is, we never played a game with Grandma before Christmas Eve and we were shocked that she would play. It was Mexican Train dominoes game. And twice since that night she has mentioned the dominoes! Whodathunkit! She was telling us about her mom & dad’s farm and her brothers would go out every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night and her mother had to iron all their shirts, and then at some point my Grandma had to iron the shirts once she was old enough (she’s the baby) but the boys didn’t like that because her mother did it better. :)
She ate her whole steak and most of her potatoes and vegetables. My mom and dad have been telling us that she’s hardly eating anything and not cooking at home for herself so I didn’t expect her to eat that much food, but I was glad. Maybe she’s just sick of hamburgers, which is what she always gets at Culvers.
Then we went to Walgreens for us to pick up some things, but it turned out she needed prescriptions there, so she was happy that we were going to stop because she wouldn’t have to fire up her car.
It was a nice outing.
Lilyfairy and I and our hubbies took a weekend trip to PA to visit our Grammy and saw a bunch of other rellies, too. Hard to see Grammy in the nursing home (she went in shortly after our last trip out), but also good to see that she is bouncing back from her recent health troubles and she was sooooo happy to see us. Hopefully our mom & dad (she is our paternal grandmother) will make it out there soon, though, because her health has kind of been a roller coaster. That, combined with being 87 years old, could mean any visit is the last. Now I’m gettin’ too sad! Stop that! We had some good Yahtzee times. It was worth making the trip to visit. I have also been sending her periodic cards and notes and need to keep that up. I don’t hear back, but imagine they still give her a smile, especially seeing how most days are the same and when they are different it’s mainly because something is going wrong with her health.
Going to see the other grandma tonight when we pick up the dog. She used to call me and never does anymore, which I find interesting because now her husband has died and I would think she’d be reaching out to other people. I call her occasionally and see her more often because, of course, she is only an hour away.
I just sent Easter cards to both my Gmas. I wrote a letter to Pennsylvania. I never get letters back, well, at least haven’t gotten one since July (?), but I still like to think they brighten her day. She is in a nursing home now. I need to get the phone number from Dad to start making calls. I would imagine it’s a lonely life.
Minnesota Gma is moving in two weeks. We are going to help along with lilyfairy. Hopefully she likes having a lot of people. She is very kid-like in a lot of ways (kind of cliché of going backwards as you get older) and so I think she will like having lots of attention and people helping.
We went to PA over Thanksgiving to visit Grammy & the rellies. It was a great trip and I’m glad we went, especially in light of my cousin’s recent death. It was good to see some of my relatives that I hadn’t seen in many, many years and of course to get in some good Grammy time. She will be moving into an assisted living facility and I would like to write and call her even more often, even though I’ve been doing better since I put up this goal.
They changed the time. :) Yippee.
We are going to visit my grandmother and other family in PA over Thanksgiving. But now I am worried because I just got off the phone with my mom (who is already out there) and she kept talking about what kinds of sightseeing we can do! We’re only going to be there 2 days! We want to see our family! We don’t care about sightseeing. Bah.
So I need to just keep reiterating that to her, but also be ok with whatever happens. Like, right now they are planning on eating Thanksgiving in the afternoon before we arrive (we’ll get in about 4:00). That’s kind of frustrating, knowing that if they could wait a few hours we could join them and likely if they’ve already had their meal they are going to be ready to go home and be done for the evening and we’ll stuck sitting in our hotel room twiddling our thumbs. But if that’s what happens, there is nothing I can do about it. I’ve said my piece, which is that I’d prefer if they could do it a little later and we could join them. If my mom can’t finagle that, well, so be it. I have to just recognize that it is out of my control and that tradition is sometimes stronger than logic. Or maybe I’m getting worked up about nothing and we will do it in the late afternoon and all will be well. Maybe I think we’re a lot more important than the rest of the world does ;) But then, don’t we all?
My mom is planning to order food to their hotel on Friday and have everyone come to the party room there and if that’s the only time in the two days we see rellies, well, there is nothing I can do about it and it will be better than nothing.
So basically, I need to chill out.
So lilyfairy if you’ve heard nothing about what the plans are, now you know :) By the time you read this they could have decided something totally different!!!
Called my MN Grandma today and plans are in the works to visit PA Grammy over Thanksgiving. My Grandma is funny. I think she is really lonely. I’m always amazed at how happy she sounds that anyone has called her.