come out to my family

Since my mother is pretty much completely computer-illiterate, I had to send her the PFLAG info via my littlest brother who still lives with her. In the email, I told him, “I’m not sure what Mom told you or how much of our conversation you overheard, but it turns out I’m a big ole lezzie…lol. That probably makes you uncomfortable, but feel free to ask me any questions you might have – I’m almost always available to chat.” Well, he responded by saying he’d guessed as much from what he heard of the conversation, but that he wasn’t very surprised and that he’d picked up on some things Mom hadn’t, and that it didn’t make him uncomfortable. Aww! I told him what a cool response that was, and that I was curious as to what he’d picked up on… :)

I told my mom today. Over the phone, since we live on opposite ends of California. I couldn’t tell how disturbed she really was, but it went pretty well overall. The first thing she said was that she loves me no matter what, and wants me to be happy. However, she then followed that up by telling me that her belief was that this “lifestyle” wouldn’t make me happy, and she did mention (in slightly more tactful words) that she thinks the fact that gay issues are so commonly and openly discussed – and that being gay is generally more acceptable – these days is due to Satan’s influence, and that she was concerned about the risks of disease. She also said something about how I shouldn’t give up on men just because things didn’t work out with my husband.

I gently corrected her misinformation about STDs (statistically, gay men may be at a higher risk than heterosexuals, but lesbians are the lowest risk group), as well as pointing out that statistics are just that and don’t necessarily apply to individuals, and I explained how much thinking I’d done about my orientation and how I really didn’t think it had anything to do with my upbringing, although I can’t be certain about that, and that it definitely doesn’t have anything to do with my ex-husband or any of my other relationships with men. I told her I understand that her religious beliefs are such as they are, and told her I appreciated her trying to be so understanding in light of that. I also told her to feel free to ask me any questions she might have, and said that if she was interested I could send her info on PFLAG. She surprised me by saying she would be interested in that. :)

She also asked whether she should say anything to anyone else. I told her I don’t have a problem with her telling anyone, but that I wasn’t yet sure whether I wanted to tell other family members myself. We talked a bit about my older brother, and how he’d surprised me with some of his opinions on gay marriage and such. She agreed that he is very opinionated, and said that he’s said things that have hurt her several times, but that she knows he loves me and all that. So, we’ll see.

I’m just glad I got that over with.

this weekend. Probably tomorrow, since Sunday would be too ironic…ha.

My best friend’s mom asked her if she was gay last weekend, and when she told me about the conversation it really inspired me to call my mom and tell her.

Oh god…I have no idea how this will go. I’ll write about it here though.

I’m lucky enough to have an estranged half-sister who’s gay, and since I realized that I was too, we’ve gotten a lot closer. (I’ll finally get to meet her again, for the second time in my life, at Thanksgiving. So excited!) So, she knows, and I’ve also told my cousin who I was pretty close to when we were kids-almost like sisters-and then lost touch with when we got older and lived far away from each other. She was awesome, told me I should do what makes me happy and not worry about what anyone else thinks.

The rest of my family, though-Mom, Grandma, one older and two younger brothers-they’re gonna be the tough ones. They’re all Mormons, and it’s bad enough that I’m already an atheist and lived with my former husband before marrying him. (Hmm, maybe it will be like Kwachy says, and won’t seem so bad after those things…somehow I doubt it though. And I never did tell them about the time I got pregnant.) Right now, I’m not sure I SHOULD tell them, since it’s just a matter of my sexual preference, and not like I have someone important to introduce them to. Plus, the next time I see them will be for Xmas, and that might not be the best time to break it to them, you know?