be fearless

if i’m going to go ahead and do these things anyway, wouldn’t it be more effective to bypass the fear? the fear is redundant, pointless, and holds a lot of energy that could be better employed in the actual doing, rather than the dread of it.

put my screen prints up for sale in a friend’s shop-
when they sat there for 3 months without selling, i discovered that actually it didn’t feel like a rejection, that there was no feeling of inadequacy. when someone finally bought one, she said she’d been dreaming of those images. but i have realised that the way in which people relate to my work (or don’t relate at all) doesnt make it any more or less worthwhile.

taught a course at findhorn-
i was in such distress about this… left a lot of preparation til the last minute through months of avoidance and fear. it is usual to start things at findhorn with an opening circle, where people say a few words about how they’re feeling. I admitted i was terrified and felt much better. but it was when i put aside my notes that things really started to flow, and surge and crest and wow! what an amazing experience. I learnt more than i taught.

agreed to put on an art exhibition with a friend-
it was only fairly recently that i got brave enough to even make the art, let alone let people see it. the deadline element freaks me out because i’m such a gifted procrastinator… but im trying to stay focused on how much i can get done each day.

for me, the fear has always been more tortuous than the reality. I have started shouting down my fear and striding forward regardless. i still have to deal with the fear daily, as i try to accomplish the thing i said i’d do. But every time i achieve something i was afraid of it makes the next thing a little less scary.