shut up and listen

I have a few people in my life recently that actually talk more than I do. I literally can’t get a word in. Haha. Making it easier to listen I think. Plus it makes me think of all the times I have done that to others.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. Think before speaking. Acknowlege the thought and realize it, whatever “it” might be, DOESN’T have to always be said. Getting better, still just need to calm the f*@k down. I’m gaining clarity, and finding there is enjoyment in just listening. Of course the running commentary going on in my head telling me to shut up, and thinking the things I’d normally say out loud is becoming distracting, so sometimes I miss stuff being said and then I realize I have no idea what the other person has been saying. That’s pretty bad. Neurotic. Self-involved. Idiot.

Perhaps I’m a touch narcasistic, self-involved or selfish, I don’t know – but it’s much harder than I ever gave much thought to. I’m rather tired of myself and have become very aware of how much I control a conversation and how that must be very annoying to those around me. My newest trick is to just breathe and say some of the stuff inside instead of out loud – of course then I miss some of what the other person is saying which is bad. Also, I’m trying to view empty slots of silence as perhaps not being so bad. I can leave a moment of silence alone. Whew! This re-vamping one’s soul is tough stuff.

I need to stop talking so much, and listen to others.
I need to think before I speak.
I need to stop talking just to fill the void.
I need to give others the opportunity to get what they need off their chest instead of focusing on what I need to say.