This is a comment from blurbomat blog. It reflects all MY thoughts in a much better English than mine.
“my husband has to deal with this, and during times of real stress (like when we separated for 6 months), he can easily slide into a constant state of perseveration. in addition to some of the great advice already given above (meditation, etc.) he finds he is most successful overcoming it when he maintains a strict sleep routine, daily exercise and healthy eating. slipping into vices when he is experiencing this only makes it worse. the exercise part is key with him. while he loves meditation practice, yoga is not his thing due to some prior injuries to his joints, so he lifts weights, runs, and now swims. he finds that the more he can physcially relieve stress, the more he can mentally do the exercises to relieve the constant cycling of thoughts. i don’t know if this is something you already do, but during times of high stress when he is vulnerable to the perseveration, he also makes a list of things he can do daily, weekly and monthly to stay busy, focused, productive and to take care of himself. chores, projects, to-do’s, the whole 9 yards, and he tapes it up in a place where he will see it first thing in the morning (i.e. beside the bathroom mirror) and uses it as a guide to keep him focused on activity and not persistent thoughts. “
Anxiety, sadness, grief, and guilt are all part of the human experience. When people go to great lengths to avoid them, the results can be devastating. Avoiding distress is a key feature in the development and maintenance of hoarding (and not only.) It reinforces the belief that the feelings being avoided are intolerably bad, and at the same time it weakens the person’s strength to cope with those feelings. Avoidance is a seductive coping strategy that works temporarily but ultimately undermines progress.
1. If you want to watch a movie A, which is only showed in a movie theater A, it is silly to go to a movie theater B, and sit there waiting for when movie A will be shown.
2. Yesterday just WAS, and everything was the way it was supposed to be. In other words – no regrets. Today IS a new day and the beginning of the rest of my life.
3. De-cluttering of the apartment will not solve all my problems (although it would help with a lot.) If I want to see a movie A (see item 1), I would still need to go to the movie theater (and not just clean my kitchen.)
4. Pay attention to the physical condition.
5. I want to find a new matrix. I did not like the life in an old one. So, my destination is a different life rather than just a different country.
6. I need to work on my problems – social anxiety, extra weight and broken English won’t disappear on their own.
7. if you want to belong to the tribe, act like that and look like that.
I went to a very interesting meeting last Sunday with Joe Monkman. the entire meeting was devoted to the statement that YOU need to keep the “keys” of YOUR “car.” Rather than giving your keys to someone else and then being unhappy that they drive you to a wrong place…So true.
I’ll start working on it this weekend.
I’m working on getting rid of clutter, checking all my belongings and bringing with me only the stuff that I actually use!