Get out of my rut.

I don’t know at what point it is that I accomplished this and it definitely hasn’t been easy. Getting out of my rut took a lot of time and involved a wide array of factors. I feel like just marking this goal as done is like officially proclaiming I am moving on to bigger and better things.

I really think that I’m almost there. My problem is just that when I get to the point where I experience new things or do something different I get overwhelmed. It’s like if I do anything out of the ordinary I have to overanalyze it and that just takes all the goodness out of doing or experiencing something new and all I end up feeling is stressed out. Which in turn makes me want to not do anything at all so I don’t feel the need to analyze something. Kind of a vicious cycle. I feel confused if I don’t pick apart every aspect of my life and this results in a lot of tossing and turning in bed at night. I wish that I could just get to the point where I don’t have to overanalyze everything and I could just enjoy life.

After a long time, I think I’m almost there…