get right with God

Am I rebellious? Why am I not walking with God? Am I lazy? Part of my problem is that I feel like perfection is expected at my church. My inlaws are the preachers at the church and they live a very good life and they honor God in all ways. In some ways I guess I am holding onto the world (shame). I don’t know how to grow – it just seems like I should be as dedicated and pure as the rest of my church and family. Help me Jesus.